


Life on the Road

by buckyscrystalqueen



Series: Life on the Road / Still on the Road / Hard Road Ahead [1]
Category: Actor RPF, Sons of Anarchy
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-18
Updated: 2019-08-01
Packaged: 2019-10-12 07:14:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 42,839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17463005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buckyscrystalqueen/pseuds/buckyscrystalqueen





	1. Life on the Road

“Hey y’all! It’s (Y/N) and Tinkerbell, the killer pitbull.” You said with forced happiness as you turned your phone and your Instagram live stream toward your dog in your passenger seat. Her ear twitched at the sound of her name but other than a huff, she didn’t move a muscle. “See, so vicious.” You turned the camera back to you and smiled as hearts and comments from your nearly two million followers started to pour in. “So anyways, I’d like ta thank y’all for all the awesome music suggestions last week on my blog; been busier than a moth in a mitten, I’ll tell you what. Y’all made this trip through Cali straight legit. However, y’all are so spot on with these songs, I managed to run out of gas somewhere north of Stockton. Yea, I know. Smooth as shit. Apparently the dang porch light’s on but ain’t no one home, t’day.

And a’course, I thought I had the back up diesel but I used it back in Vegas for the dadgum generator.” You sighed and ran your hand through your hair. “Normally I’d blame it on Tinkerbell but just wait until you see this Sunday’s video. I managed ta get her reaction on my GoPro the second the Beast pattered ta a stop an’ if it ain’t the cutest thang, I don’t know what is.” You reached out and fondly pat your dashboard as you talked about your truck and shrugged your shoulders.

“So any’a y’all out there in the Stockton area wanna come save my ass with some gas? I don’ wanna have ta lock Tink up in the Lagoon on the side’a the road, ya know?” You glanced at your side mirror as a 18-wheeler drove past you. “Welp. I needed ta stop for supper anyways so looks like I’m eatin’ here. If yea wanna rescue my southern ass, Tink and I are on interstate… shit, I ain’t even know. Looks like I’m unloading the bike from the back at save my damn self. Love all y’all!” You pursed your lips together and blew a kiss before waving at the camera. “Check in later!” With that, you hit the end button and sighed.

“The hail didn’t you remind me about gas, Tink?” You asked as you grabbed your truck keys and your purse. Tink, your gorgeous, beige, two year old, red nose, green eyed pitbull rescue, stood up and stretched on the passenger seat. You unclipped her seatbelt and she shook and waited for you to let her out on her side. You checked for traffic before jumping out of your black, Ford F350 Super Duty. You grumbled to yourself as you headed around the front to let Tink out so you could scrounge up something for the two of you for a slightly early dinner.

——

“Guys, look it’s her!” The Sons’ heads all perked up as Juice spun his laptop on the bar so everyone could see. Jax, Opie, Tig and Chibs all came over to watch your live stream.

“Damn… that accent gets me every time.” Tig moaned as Jax’s brow furrowed.

“Did she just say Stockton?” He asked as he tipped his beer toward the screen. The men all got quiet as they listened to the rest of your live video. As they watched, Juice pulled up a different screen on his laptop and pulled up the bookmark he had of your travel blog.

“Really, Juice? You have it bookmarked?” Opie asked as Juice navigated to the live map of your location. It probably wasn’t your smartest decision to give psycho’s the exact location you were in but you felt more secure as a single woman with your followers knowing where you were in case something really bad actually happened.

“That’s right outside Charming.” Chibs said as he pointed to the small photo of your dog’s adorable face; your choice of location beacon.

“Oh, we’re so going.” Juice said as you signed off your live video with a kiss.

“You’re gunna look like a damn stalker.” Jax said as he went back to his beer.

“Yea, on that note, I gotta get home.” Ope sighed as he grabbed his keys off the bar.

“I’ll go, just to hear that accent.” Tig said.

“Aye. Don’ ‘ear much’a tha’ back ‘ome.” Chibs agreed as he hit his hand on the bar. “Prospect! Get the truck and the extra gas can!”

“I call dibs. I found her videos first.” Juice said as he got up from the bar and closed his laptop.

“Can’t call dibs on a girl you don’t know.” Tig said as the three guys headed out to the lot to be your knights in shining armor. “She might be into older guys…”

“Ye’ve nothin’ on the foreigner, lads. Just ye watch.”

——

“Don’t you turn your nose up, miss thang. Just ‘cause it ain’t cooked on the grill, don’t mean it ain’t good steak.” Tink walked up to her Micky Mouse shaped dog bowl (so she would eat slower) and sniffed the cut up meat and dog food mixture in her bowl. You leaned against your tile covered counter top and cocked your eyebrow at her as you munched on the steak salad you had made. With a huff, Tink began to eat.

“Yea, that’s what I thought.” You glanced up your door as someone knocked at it and Tink instantly abandoned her meal. Her vicious growls and barks echoed in your 19 foot long, Scamp trailer as you reached up to grab one of the many guns you owned from the cabinet above the stove.

“I suggest ya back the fuck away from my door, now!” You called out as you pulled back the hammer on your gun. You grabbed ahold of Tink’s collar and stepped toward the door.

“Hey. umm… I’m… uh, shit. I follow your blog. Just figured you could use some gas.” Your eyebrows shot to your hairline as you kicked the handle of your door and let it fly open. You kept a firm grip on your dog’s collar and your gun pointed at the three men, who all jumped back when they saw you.

“See this is why I keep the danged map.” Your eyes danced between the three men for a moment before flipping the hammer of your gun up. “Easy Tink. Pas touche.” The second you said the French command for ‘leave it’, Tink laid off and took a seat at your heels with a deep, low growl still rolling in her chest. “Well… damn. If this ain’t the first time I got help from my followers. Come on in y’all.” You scratched behind Tink’s floppy ear and gently pulled her away from the door as the three guys looked at each other and stepped inside ‘the Lagoon’. You moved Tink’s bowl to the corner and set your gun down on the little table beside the chairs you had put in where the dining room table once sat.

“Wow…” The younger guy in the front said as he looked around your small fifth wheel. You had found it by happen stance after you lost your job four years before and it sparked something inside you. You took a year to clean it up, paint and decorate it to resemble a mermaid lagoon and make it more home-like than it was when you got it and you had been on the road ever since then. “It looks just like your videos.” You smirked and nodded as you leaned against your counter.

“I mean, it ain’t like I repaint the damn thing every other video.” You teased. “So y’all know my name. Who are y’all?”

“Tig, sweetheart.” An older, curly haired gentleman said as he stepped around the younger boy with a mohawk and tribal tattoos on his head. You could almost feel the cockiness oozing from Tig as you took his out stretched hand and shook it firmly.

“You must be the one who found my videos in the first place.” You said sweetly as you looked at the younger man. He nodded and took your offered hand.

“Juice.” He said as a slight blush tinted the tips of his ears. You smiled sweetly and glanced up at the third man that, out of the three rescuers, you would absolutely not mind getting to know a little better if you had the option to.

“Chibs.” He said in a think Scottish accent you weren’t expecting. Your face revealed your surprise as you covered your heart with your hand.

“Well good Lawd will ya listen ta that accent!” You cooed with a sweet, genuine smile. “Betcha worked hard on that one.” You threw him a wink, causing him to blush as well. You looked at the three men and licked your lips. “Well thank ya kindly for helping me out. I’d love to stay and chat but I’m fixin’ ta have ‘bout a three hour drive ahead of me ta the next campground so I can get some laundry done ‘fore sun goes d…”

“We have a washer.” Tig said a little too quickly. He received a smack to the back of the head from Chibs, who cleared his throat.

“What he meant ta say was, if ye don’ wan’ ta race the sun, we’d be happy ta put ye up for the night. We’ve a washer and dryer ye don’t have ta pay for, hot water for a show’a an’ a real bed if ye’d like.”

“Well bless your hearts.” You sighed as you glanced down at Tink. “That actually sounds like heaven. Be able ta get ta bed early for once and give this little mutt a shower where she ain’t gettin’ dirty ‘gain right away. Won’t be much for company, though; Wednesdays are order days an’ I got bunch of them.”

“That’s OK.” Juice said with a nod of his head. You could tell just by the look in his eyes that he was slightly star-struck.

“Just so you know, we’re mechanics as well. If you want, we can look at your truck for you, free of charge.” You glanced over at Tig and smiled.

“Well I’ll take you boys up on that. I’m due for an oil change as is but I ain’t takin’ no free ride. So I guess just lead the way to the nearest gas station an’ I’ll follow y’all the rest of the way.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You drink, luv?” You looked up at Chibs and nodded as you sealed the next envelope and put it in the box you needed to take to the post office.

“I do. Thank you kindly.” You took the beer from him and gestured to the seat next to you with a smile. “I legally have ta let you know that I’m recordin’. Though I’m always recordin’.” You said as you gestured to your laptop in front of you and the GoPro that was attached to the awning you were under. Chibs nodded as he took a seat and glanced up at the camera.

“Don’ ye get tired of cameras in yer face all the time?” He asked. You took a swig of your beer as you pulled up the next order for the crystals you sold on your laptop and laughed with a shake of your head.

“I’ve had cameras in my damn face for three years. I’m so used to it now I don’t even notice it.” You glanced over at him as you grabbed the box of Obsidian spheres and the box of Lapis spheres you had picked up to sell in Arizona from the tote box beside you. “It’s how I make money.” He cocked his eyebrow as he leaned back in the chair, jumping a bit when Tink pressed her nose against his elbow to get loved on.

“How do ye make money recordin’ yerself?” You glanced up at him and smiled as he scratched Tink on the top of her head.

“Lots’a different ways. Like right now, if I post this part of my week on Sunday’s video, I’m promotin’ the fact that I’m sellin’ crystals. I buy them ‘round the country and people flock ta them like bees ta flowers.” He chuckled at your analogy as you closed the shipping box and taped the shipping label to the top. “And I got companies that sponsor me for this an’ that.” You flicked your Mossy Oak ball cap to make a point.

“I wear their gear, promotin’ their business. My followers see that an’ they’re more likely ta buy their stuff. Ain’t much money in that; ten bucks here, five there but it adds up. I also write reviews on products I try out. Companies send me things ta try an’ pay me a few bucks to mention them an’ their products in my videos. I write those reviews up on Mondays and update my blog those days.” You shrugged as you closed the next envelope and grabbed the label.

“Travelin’ round the states ain’t just drivin’ ‘round. I work forty hours a week jus’ like everyone else. I just do it outta my truck.” You smiled as you grabbed the next box of tumbled stones you needed. “I do tutorials when I fix my RV or redecorate. I do yoga videos few times a month when I find a nice lake or some cool mountains and shit for a background. That’s what got me popular in the first place. Bein’ half naked in yoga videos an’ makin’ fun’a myself doin’ stupid shit when I drive. I called companies ta get sponsored way I do. But in the three years I’ve been doin’ this, I’ve been ta every national park few times and have met so many amazing people. I get ta see the United States in’a way ain’t many people get ta. An’ while it’s a pain in the ass ta live in a small RV sometimes, I ain’t gunna trade it for nothin’.”

“Sounds like a lot of fun, luv.” You smiled and nodded as you added another finished box to the rest.

“It is. I enjoy it more’n anythin’.”

“Wha’ made ye take off on the road in the first place?” You couldn’t help but pinch your lips together as you shook your head.

“Ain’t a story worth tellin’.” He nodded as you reached out, grabbed your beer and changed the subject. “How’s my truck?”

“Oil’s changed. Opie… one of the lads works ‘ere, is gettin’ a new radiate’a ‘ose. Yers woulda givin’ ye some trouble ‘bout a month or so. Rotated the tires for ye as well. And no, ye ain’t payin’ for shite.” Your jaw snapped closed and you scowled.

“Well thank you. That helps more than y’all ever know.” He tipped his head toward you as you tossed the last package into the box going to the post office. With a sigh, you glanced over at Tink, who was laying on her back in heaven, getting her belly rubbed. “Hey traitor. Wanna go get the clothes?” She twisted her body the slightest bit and huffed at you as Chibs pulled his hand away. With a grumble, she stretched and rolled over to her side, almost defiantly. You glanced up at Chibs and held your finger up with a smile. “You want a bath?” Almost instantly, she jumped to her feet and looked at you as her tail started wagging against the side of Chibs’ chair. You looked up at the man and smiled. “Wanna point me in the direction of a shower ‘fore I start laundry… maybe conserve water with me?” He smirked and nodded his head as he got up from the chair.

“I think tha’ can be arranged, luv.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Is it just me or does (Y/N) look like she’s putting on a little weight?”

“Getting a little puffy around the middle.”

“Love this view! Wish I could do what you do!”

“Stop hating on (Y/N)! Love that top, gurl. Going to get one myself, now!”

“Get it girl! Fuck the haters, you’re gorgeous!”

“Damn. Puffy or not, I wish I had a body like that.”

Your brow furrowed as you skimmed through the comments section of the most recent yoga video you posted by Lake McDonald in Montana.

“Puffy?! I ain’t puffy!” You said as you glanced down at your stomach. You had absolutely put on a few pounds in the past few weeks but you didn’t realize it was so noticeable. You glanced over at Tink as the two of you got some summer sun at a small campground in Montana. “Am I puffy, Tink?” She responded with a single, low ‘woof’ and you rolled your eyes. “Shut up.” You closed your YouTube app and set your phone down on your little table; trading it for a glass of sweet tea. You glanced at the liquid for a moment, trying to figure out what you had been eating the past few weeks that could have put weight on like you did.

You hadn’t been eating any different, sticking to chicken mostly because it was easy to freeze and easier to store in your small freezer. You didn’t eat many sweets because you couldn’t justify not sharing them with Tinkerbell and she didn’t need them either. The only real sugar you had was in your tea… You sat up slowly as you mentally ran through your grocery bills the past few months. Your stomach turned almost painfully as you realized ‘tampons’ hadn’t been added to the list in a while.

“Oh, son of’a bitch.” You took a deep breath, trying to steady yourself before standing up and grabbing your chair. Tink jumped to her feet, knowing the rules that she was supposed to stay at your heels at all times in campgrounds and followed you toward your camper. “Smart move, (Y/N).” You mumbled to yourself as you secured your ‘porch’ belongings inside and closed and locked the door. “Condoms, you moron. Condoms.” You grabbed your truck keys off the back tire and headed to the passenger side of your vehicle. You continued to grumble as you helped Tink into her seat and clipped her harness onto her broad chest.

“There’s a tree stump in a Louisiana swamp with a higher IQ than me right now.” You grumbled as you headed over to the driver side and climbed in. You snatched the GoPro from your dash and dropped it in the middle console, not wanting to deal with filming yourself on the way to the store to get a pregnancy test.

——

Four pregnancy tests, a trip to the local walk-in clinic and an ultrasound later, you found yourself, absolutely, 100%, 14 weeks pregnant. You laid in your bed that night, staring out the sky roof you had installed yourself the year before at the star dappled night sky, running scenarios through your head of what to do.

You didn’t have a home to go back to, your permanent address was a PO box in your home town of Boone, North Carolina. The only family you had was an older, half sister that couldn’t stand the sight or though of you since, in her book, you were to blame for her mother dying during child birth. Your father dipped out when you were still in the hospital nursery and you had been in and out of foster care since you were a baby.

You made enough money on the road and had enough in your savings account that raising a baby on your own on the road wasn’t a big deal financially but then you’d be raising a baby on your own on the road. That in and of itself was a whole other beast to tackle. With your job choice, your child would be in the spot light from birth. Eventually, his or her father was bound to find out and would probably want to try to put a stop to it.

But your child would be raised to love the country and be respectful to the environment. It would see the beauties of the world most children didn’t get a chance to see. Sure, it would slow you down on the road a bit but in all honestly, where were you in a hurry to get to anyways? You lived day by day, staying in places for a day or a week at a time. It was entirely up to you. It would also open you up to new business opportunities as well… not that that was the sole reason to keep your baby.

It would give you the chance to meet even more people around the country and maybe even joining one of the many groups that traveled around together. But keeping the child meant home schooling and more bills per month. Couponing a little more hardcore than you already did could help that. You knew enough people on the road as is that getting hand me downs from other families would be easy.

You rolled on your side and looked at Tink, who was peacefully snoring away. With a baby, you would have to consider getting a bigger RV or adjust maybe just the current layout. Tink would have to get used to sleeping on the floor or at least down by your feet since she was spoiled. Eventually, you would have to turn the back area where you had the chairs you didn’t really use into a toddler bed.

A smile pulled at the corners of your lips as you though about having a baby. Watching her walk for the first time in the waters of the Atlantic Ocean. Helping him learn to read in the summer sun by Lake Tahoe. Sure it wouldn’t be easy by any stretch of the imagination… but at the end of the day, it would be worth it. You sat up and grabbed your phone as you flipped on the light on your bed. Tink opened her eye to see what you were doing just as you snapped a photo of her. With a grumble, she put her paws over her eyes and huffed lazily as you took the photo you really wanted and began to edit it. Half hour later, when you were completely satisfied, you added the photo to your Instagram without thinking of any consequences.

@TinktravelstheUSA- Mommy is so mean to me! She’s bringing a cryin’ little monster into my home for Christmas. I protest this new development, mommy. Babies suck!  
Baby (Y/L/N) due in early December! Mommy-to-be and big sister, Tink are super excited to share the beautiful world with their little bundle of joy!

Within seconds of you uploading the photo of Tink with a drawn ‘future big sister’ hat, the comments and likes started rolling in. Congratulations and well wishes poured in with the peppered in negative comment here and there. They were always expected from people who didn’t agree with your lifestyle choices or others that were jealous for one reason or another. You smiled broadly at your decision and put your phone into do not disturb mode before climbing under your blankets to call it a night.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hey Chibs. You’re gunna wanna see this, man.”

“Kinda busy a’ the moment, Juicy.” Chibs called out as he held the starter he was replacing in place. He got the first screw tightened in place before he was pulled out from under the car by his ankle. “The bloody ‘ell…” His words sputtered to a stop as he stared at the instagram photo you had posted the week before of you doing a handstand by a lake you found in Buffalo Bill state park in Wyoming outside of Yellowstone and it was beyond obvious that you were five months pregnant.

“With everything going on, I haven’t been keeping up with her posts…” Juice couldn’t finish as Chibs ripped the laptop from his hands. He walked over and set it down on the work bench in the back of the garage.

“I need ta talk ta ‘er. ‘ow do I talk ta ‘er?!” He shouted as he clicked on the arrow beside the photo. He didn’t know whether to be happy or pissed as looked at the photo of your dog, resting her head on your baby bump protectively by the same lake. “Moth’a christ.”

“We can send her a message but I don’t know if when she’d see it…”

“Tha’s m’child, Juice!” He shouted as he started to shake violently. “Ahhh, fuck tha’s m’child.” Tears welled in his eyes as he grabbed onto the table edge in front of him for a moment. His stomach rolled and he ran to the trash can in the corner.

“Hell’s wrong with him?” Gemma asked as she stepped out of the office. Juice turned the laptop toward her as Half Sack ran toward the club house for a wet washcloth and some Jameson.

“Remember that girl with the dog who parked her RV here for a night like six months ago? Yea, she’s pregnant.” Gemma quickly came out of the office and headed over to the computer as Chibs sunk down into a corner.

“How do you know it’s yours? This gash could just want…” She started as she put on her reading glasses and looked at the photo.

“‘cause I was the first man she slept wit’ in a year.” Chibs groaned as he closed his eyes in an attempt to stop the headache that was beginning to pound in his skull.

“She had a thing for his accent. And she’s not after money or she would have messaged me to find Chibs. I stumbled on this myself. Don’t think she would have ever told him…” Chibs instantly lurched to his feet and got sick again, causing both Gemma and juice to cringe.

“Alright, get him into the clubhouse. No one needs to see this.” Juice nodded as he closed his his laptop and headed over to grab his best friend.

“Come on, buddy. Let’s get you inside.” Juice said as he helped Chibs to his feet.

“M’child. I’m gon’ be a father.” He muttered as he stumbled along, too stunned to say much anything else. “Fuck, Juice. M’child.”

“I know, buddy. I know. We’ll figure it out.”


	2. Life on the Road

“Hey y’all! It’s (Y/N), baby girl and Tinkerbell, the killer pitbull.” You smiled as you showed your growing baby bump and your sleeping pup laying beside you in your bed. “Coming to you live from the damn rain apocalypse of the century in Colorado ‘fore I call it a night. You know, I love the rain, though. So dang peaceful. It’s like Mother Nature’s way of wiping the nature slate clean. Helpin’ the circle of life thrive.” You smirked and rolled over onto your side, propping your stomach up on a pillow and causing your unnamed daughter to roll over in your stomach. “Kinda makes ya wonder when Simba’s… ahhh!!!” You sat up quickly as someone pounded on your RV door. Tink went crazy on your bed and you grabbed the shotgun you kept at the foot of your bed.

“Open the damn door!” Chibs shouted, causing you to lurch up to sit on the bed. You didn’t even bother saying good bye to any followers watching as you ended the live video.

“Pas touche, Tink. ’s’alright.” You snapped as you scooted as fast as you could off the bed. “Stupid dang map. Just open the damn thang!” You shouted over the pounding. Chibs yanked the door open and jumped in out of the rain, dripping water onto your faux wood floor. He looked up at you and your shot gun as he slammed the door closed behind him and turned the lock.

“Lock the damn door, woman! Yer pregnant!” Your eyebrows flew to your hair line and your jaw dropped to the floor.

“Are you outta your cotton-pickin mind?! Who do you think you…”

“The fath’a a yer child, tha’s who.” He pulled off his drenched jacket. You finally set your gun down and got off your bed to get him a towel with a scowl.

“And? I don’t know you! Nor do you know me so you best watch your mouth for I knock you so hard you see tomorrow, today.” He snatched the towel from your hands to wipe his confused face.

“Wha’?” He asked as he held the towel in front of him. “The ‘ell does tha’ even mean?” You turned around to yell at him again but softened as you looked at his shivering body.

“Goddamn it. Take that shit off ‘fore you catch pneumonia.” You turned and stepped past him to your closet. You yanked it open, grabbed a old t-shirt and handed it back to him before searching for a pair of shorts or pants that would be big enough and long enough for him as his wet cloths started to plop onto the ground. “What do you want, Chibs?” You snapped as you handed him a pair of pink, flannel sleep pants.

“Yer pregnant.” He said matter of factly as he stepped away from the puddle of water on the floor. You huffed a laugh and nodded as you closed your closet and opened your small bathroom to get to your laundry line.

“Yea, I am. And?” He looked at your back as if you were crazy as he pulled on your shirt.

“An’? An’ I’ve the right ta know ‘bout it, don’ ye think?” You shrugged as you moved your cleaning supplies to the kitchen counter so they wouldn’t get dripped on.

“Figured a big, bad biker would be happier not knowin’ he knocked up some stranger.” You admitted as you strung the line through the small space and locked it into place. “Didn’t take y’all as ‘daddy material’.”

“Yea, well ye don’ know me. Look out, luv. I can ‘ang m’own clothes.” You glanced back at him and stepped around him to clean up the water on the floor.

“OK. So you made your point. I know you know your gunna be a daddy. So what now? You think you can storm in here…” You stepped on the towel he abandoned and scooted it over toward the door but Chibs put his foot on it in front of yours.

“I don’ wan’ ta change yer life, luv. I know just from the very little I’ve spoken ta ye, tha’ tha’s not ‘appenin’. But I’ve the right ta know m’child even if that means goin’ nomad in m’own chart’a and followin’ the two’a ye’s ‘round the country side.” You cocked your eyebrow and crossed your arms over your chest.

“I don’t speak biker. I speak Southern.” He rolled his eyes as he took the towel and wiped up the floor.

“t’is a branch of the Sons that doesn’t have a ‘ome base.” You nodded as you stepped back toward your chair where you had your dirty clothes hamper. You sighed and leaned your hip against the counter. You rubbed your hand over your baby bump as your daughter shifted around to get comfortable and sighed. “Do ye know wha’ ’t’is?”

“Girl. Haven’t settled on a name yet.” You said softly as you looked up at him. You pulled up the bottom of your tank-top and reached for his hand. “She’s always active at night. It’s like she knows I’m fixin’ ta sleep. Don’t kick much. Just squirms ‘round like a turtle on its back and keeps me up half the night.” His face lit up as his daughter ran her foot across his palm.

“Aye. Bairns always take yer sleep away first.”

“You have any?” He sighed and looked up at you.

“Had. I’ven’t seen ‘er in ova ten years.” Your smile dropped as he gently but firmly pressed his fingertips against his daughter’s feet, the way only a father could.

“I’m so sorry, darlin’.” You said softly as you realized that you were doing the same thing to him that his ex did. He shook his head and looked up at you.

“’s’not yer fault, lass. But ye see why I can’t jus’ pretend this isn’t ‘appenin’?” You nodded as you put your hand on top of his.

“I only have one bed. You can stay but I ain’t gunna promise ya it ain’t gunna be awkward.” He nodded as he pulled his hand out from under yours.

“We’ll figure it out, luv. I’d do anythin’ jus’ ta ‘ave the chance ta be a fath’a again.” You gave him a weak smile and nodded before stepping around him to your bed.

“Back up, Tink.” You said as you waved your hand at her on your way up the two steps. She growled at Chibs as he stepped on the stairs behind you, protectively. “No, you know bett’a.” She let you climb on to the bed and laid down directly in front of your stomach. Her eyes didn’t leave Chibs as he slowly laid down on the other side of the bed.

“She won’ bite, right?” He asked as you pulled back the blankets and hit the main light switch with your toe.

“She’ll move in a few minutes. She’s just bein’ a pain in the ass.” He nodded as he laid down under the blankets and folded the pillow that probably smelled like dog under his head.

“Nigh’ luv.” He said softly. You looked across the little loft bedroom at him and nodded.

“Night.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You woke up the next morning to a tame, huffed, ‘woof’ from Tink, followed by one of your cabinets being closed as softly as it could. Your brow furrowed as you propped yourself up on your elbow for a moment, trying to figure out what in the world was going on when a muttered, Scottish voice muttered ‘fuck’.

“Watcha lookin’ for?” You called out, slightly horsely. You sat all the way up and started to scoot down the bed as another cabinet closed.

“Coffee.” He looked back at you as you appeared in the opening of the loft bed with a shake of your head.

“Can’t drink it much right now so I ain’t been buyin’ it. But I planned on hittin’ the store t’day when we get to the next campground so we’ll get some. I had ta stop early ‘cause of the rain last night.” He nodded as you grabbed your bathroom caddy off the counter and grabbed some clothes from your closet. “You got another clothes?”

“Probably all soaked by now.” He said as he scrubbed his hand down his tired face. You could already tell he was as much of a morning person as you were. You grabbed a pair of basketball shorts that were probably gunna be a little small on him and a clean shirt.

“Next place we stop has a laundry mat. Come on, I’ll show you were you can get fixed up so we can ride out.” You went over to help Tink off the bed and felt Chibs tap you on the shoulder. Wordlessly, he gestured for you to back up so he could lift your pup off the bed and too the ground. She never had an issue getting up, but the step down to the stairs was just a little too far for her. She grumbled at him as you pulled on your bathroom Crocs and followed you outside into the muddy campsite.

“Sleep well?” Chibs asked as he fell into step beside you with your clothes and a small bathroom bag in his hand.

“Peachy. I have a child using my uterus as a jungle gym.” You glanced over at him and shook your head. “Ya ain’t gotta go the small talk shit in the mornin’, darlin’. Like one of the characters from one of my shows says, ‘mornings are for coffee and contemplation’.”

“Thank Christ.” You pointed him in the direction of the men’s restroom and held the women’s door open for Tink, even though you knew she wasn’t allowed in. But you weren’t about to leave her outside while you got ready though. After twenty minutes, a few slashes of ice cold water on your face, and the tiniest bit of makeup, you headed outside to see Chibs, smoking a cigarette and waiting for you with a styrofoam cup of coffee in his hand.

“Who’d ya have ta bribe for that?” You teased, a little more awake now. He glanced back over his shoulder and pointed toward the campsite one over from yours.

“Paid five bucks for two cups of instant coffee.” He said with a laugh as he swirled the contents in the bottom of his cup. “Shite coffee but ’t’is coffee all the same.” You nodded and laughed as you paused by the door of your RV.

“Alright, so you wanna just follow me the two hours ta Canon City, where we’ll be for the next week or two.” He nodded as he glanced over at your pick-up and his Harley.

“Sure but wet or not, I’m puttin’ m’jeans on for that.”

——

Two hours later, you were finally pulling into the KOA the camp sight in Canon City, Colorado. Tinkerbell was going crazy beside you, excited to see her best friends in the whole, wide, world; Todd and Stacy. The older couple were as close to parents as you had ever gotten.

“Where’s pop?” You asked as you meandered around the bend toward H3 & H4. You smiled and waved at Todd, who was making lunch on the fire and drove just past him to the site that you would call home for a bit. “Alright, alright, go on!” You said with a laugh as you unclipped Tink’s seatbelt. You glanced back to make sure Chibs had stopped moving before opening your passenger door. Tinkerbell shot out like a cannon ball and ran toward the RV beside you just as Stacy was walking around the corner.

“Hey vicious!” She laughed as she was almost barreled over by your rambunctious fur child. You shook your head as you got out of your truck and walked around the front toward her.

“You’d think we hadn’t seen ya in years.” You giggled.

“Well it has been a few weeks. Look how big you’ve gotten!” You smiled proudly as she put her hands on your bump and bent down to give it a gently kiss. “Todd, come look at our future grand baby.” She looked up as CHibs got off his bike and lit a cigarette. Her eyebrow flew to her hairline as she looked back at you, questioningly.

“Baby daddy. Scared the shit outta me last night.”

“You there, boy.” Stacy called out as she snapped at him. You grumbled her name as she called him over with a wag of her finger. “You’re responsible for this?” She asked. He looked a little startled and looked at you, but Stacy was having none of it. “No, don’t look at her. I’m her mama. You look at me.”

“Yes, ma’am.” You looked over at her as she fought the smile that tried to make it’s way onto her face. This was simply a scare tactic.

“You listen here and you listen good. You take care of my grand baby, you hear. You wanna stay and be a father, you stay no matter how hard it gets. You wanna go home and send a check, you make that choice soon. You aren’t gunna go in and out of my girls lives, you understand me?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Ye done tryin’ ta scare him off, Stace?” She glanced over at you and scowled until you stuck your tongue out at her. With a laugh, she nodded and stuck out her hand.

“Stacy Bishop. I’m (Y/N)’s unofficial road mother. My husband, Todd’s back there.”

“They basically adopted me when I first started out. I couldn’t figure out my old generator and Todd came over and helped. They’ve been keepin’ an eye out for me ever since.” You stepped closer to him and put up your hand as if you were telling a secret. “Don’t let the act fool ya. She’s as mild as a house cat on catnip.” He chuckled and nodded as Stacy glared at you, playfully.

“I’m a vicious mama bear. Come on, my child. Todd’s got hotdogs and hamburgs on the fire.” You nodded and headed around the front end of her RV. Tink had sprawled herself out like a frog on the green, fake grass carpet Stacey kept in front of her rig with a giant bone in-between her front paws.

“Ain’t even been here five minutes and you’re already spoilin’ her.” You said with a laugh as Todd pulled a hamburger patty from the grill over the fire pit. He stood up and gave you a one armed hug before going back to lunch.

“And we’re spoiling you today, too. Hit up the post office last night and the main store here and picked up the boxes you had there. The whole back end of my house if full of boxes for you.” You smiled over at him as you moved over to take ‘your seat’.

“Well thank ya, kindly. So introductions, this is Chibs; baby daddy who hunted me down in the middle of a rain storm from California. Says he’s sticking around to be a daddy so y’all be nice.” Todd looked up at him over his glasses and narrowed his eyes.

“You got good intentions, boy?” He snapped. You groaned and rolled your eyes.

“See, this is why I’ve stayed single. Y’all are horrible.” Chibs nodded as he took a seat next to you by the fire.

“M’ ex took m’ first daugh’a away from me when she was just a wee bairn. I’ven’t seen her since. I won’ walk away from m’child ‘gain.” Todd and Stacy exchanged a side eyed glance before nodding subtly and changing the subject.

“So you still thinking about going up in size with your RV?” Todd asked as Stacy handed you a full plate of food. You shrugged, noncommittally.

“Been thinking about it for six months. If I find someone to buy the Lagoon, yea probably.”

“Well, you remember that guy David, right? He was filming that documentary about living on the road for a year for the RV company? He had that 5th wheel with the garage door in the back. Well, he’s done filming and the people that gave him the RV don’t really want it back. So he asked us if we wanted to keep it at our daughters as a back-up but we just bought this one…”

“He’s giving it away?” You asked incredulously. Todd and Stacy exchanged a half second, barely noticeable glance and nodded.

“Yep, just giving it away. He’s driving home tomorrow. We were just waiting for you to get here so we could borrow your truck…” You nodded slowly as you chewed the bite of burger you had in your mouth. You casually crossed your legs and leaned your arms forward on them as far as your baby bump would allow and arched your eyebrow.

“So, what y’all are tellin’ me is that David… the most money hungry man I’ve ever met, is just… givin’ away the forty-five thousand dollar Venom toy hauler that KZ has had on the RV app for the past four months? They just up an’ decided ta give it away.”

“I told you she would see it there!” Stacy said as she whacked her husband’s arm.

“Stacy Ann.” Todd said as he looked at his wife with an annoyed face. He sighed and looked back up at you. “Look. You’re taking the damn RV. We bought it for you, we kept the four wheeler as part of the money and we’ll take the Lagoon and see it for you to make up for the rest.” Your face contorted into a look of anger and confusion as you shook your head.

“In what world do you think that them damn things are even keel?” You snapped. “There’s at least a fifteen thousand…”

“And we used what we had left over from out old rig.” Stacy said.

“Look, I’m an old man so I’m not playing this back and forth ‘it’s too much’, ‘take the present’, ‘no’ ‘yes’ bullshit.” Todd said as he pulled the hotdogs off the grill and put them on a plate, mocking your accent and Stacy’s voice as he spoke. He sat back in his chair, set down the plate on his table and grabbed the bag of marshmallows and pointed to you with them. “Take the damn RV. I will not let you raise that baby in the Lagoon and that’s final, we clear?” You nodded and pinched your lips together to try to hide your smile.

“Yes, sir.” He nodded and gestured in the direction of your RV.

“Dip shit left last week. Company’s been paid, it has all new locks and the keys are on the counter in my kitchen. We scrubbed it from top to bottom twice for ya, too. We’ll help you move all your stuff after lunch because I’m not paying a whole other day for a spot we don’t need. We’ll tow the Lagoon to Carol’s before dark.” Tears welled in your eyes as you handed Chibs your plate and stood up. Todd stood up and pulled you into a hug.

“Thank you.” He nodded against the side of your head and rubbed your back.

“Anything for you, kiddo.” He moved his hands to your shoulders and pulled you back a bit. “Carol and Mike chipped in, too. It’s from all of us. And… KZ dropped five grand off the price because I promised them you would promote them and the damned documentary when it comes out. I have the guy’s card because he’d like to talk to you as well.” You huffed a laugh and nodded as you wiped away the tears that escaped.

“Y’all are too good too me.” You stepped over to Stacy. She shook her head and she hugged you tight.

“No, baby. That’s what families do.”


	3. Life on the Road

“So the fans want a ‘Chibs’ video.” You said as you read over comments on your last video as he drove you and ‘the Palace’, which felt like unnecessary the Taj Mahal of RV’s (with a much better bed, so you weren’t complaining) to your next campground. “But then you’d have ta have a ‘bloody camera in your face’.” He glanced over at your mocking and pointed at the GoPro that was attached to the handle in front of him with the straightest face he could muster.

“When’s it not, luv?” You giggled and shrugged your shoulder.

“You know’s well as I do that I don’t put you in my videos unless I tell you.” You leaned to your side and grabbed one of your many GoPro cameras from the middle console. You held it out to show him you were planning on recording before flipping it on. “So, what will you tell the masses, Chibby?” He glanced over at you and sighed.

“Yer lucky I cain’t run ‘way, right now, luv.” You reached over and gently pushed his shoulder with your fingertips.

“Hun…” He groaned heavily and glanced at the GPS. He had an hour and twenty five minutes until the next camp ground in Oklahoma and even though he had been with you for only a month, he knew you wouldn’t let up until he gave in.

“Fine.” He glanced over at your award winning smile; a smile he was coming to look forward to seeing every day, and nodded. “Wha’ do ye wan’ ta know?”

“Well… how are ya likin’ the RV life so far? How does it compare ta the MC life?” He chuckled and shook his head.

“Much more relaxed.” He glanced over at you and you nodded, reassuringly for him to go on. “’s’weird. Still not sure it feels real yet.” He sighed and glanced over at you. “Can I be ‘onest wit’ ye?” You nodded and rested the camera on your bump. He licked his lips and focused intently on the road ahead.

“I nev’a thought I’d do this ‘gain… the fath’a thing. Afta Kerrianne, the idea just never seemed possible. But then ye ‘appened… and our lit’l Avery ‘appened… it just… felt right. There was so much shite goin’ on with the club an’ I felt like I was drownin’ wit’ no end in sight… escapin’ ta this life seemed like the only way ta keep m’head in more way than one. But yer not just an escape, not like I thought. I jus’ thought I’d… shit, I don’ really know what I thought comin’ out ‘ere. But it’s betta. So much betta than I thought it would be.” He glanced over at you from the corner of his eye with a small smile and bobbed his head. “Yer a sweet girl, luv. An’ I don’ think I could ask for a betta part’na in this.” He looked over at you and his face contorted into concern. “Luv, why are ye cryin’?”

“’s’so beautiful!” You choked as you wiped the tears off your cheeks. He started to chuckle and you forced a scowl. “Shut up! I’m pregnant!” He reached across the console, took your hand and squeezed it gently.

“Sorry, luv.” He squeezed your hand but didn’t let it go. You smiled and moved your fingers to lace with his.

“Guess we’re gunna have ta come up with something else for a Chibs video.” He chuckled and nodded.

“Aye, guess yer right.”

——

“Wha’ do ye wan’ for dinn’a, luv?” Chibs asked as he put two large logs on the fire. You shrugged as you checked to make sure your RV was level on the fancy app on your iPad.

“Pickles.” He laughed and shook his head.

“Ye eat anymore damn pickles, yer gun’ turn in ta one. ’s’all ye’ve eaten this week.” You scowled and pointed at your baby bump.

“Blame her. Actually, blame you! You’re the one who bought the damn thing ta try at that thingy-ma-jig up yonder in the first place.” He laughed and looked over at you with a shake of his head.

“I feel like yer Southern is getting more an’ more Southern the more pregnant ye get. It’s like…”

“You finish that sentence an’ I’ll cancel your birth certificate, Filip.” He laughed and held up his hands.

“How ‘bout I make m’ favorite, then, aye?” You nodded at him as he stood up beside the fire and brushed his hands off on his jeans. He glanced over at Tinkerbell, who was waiting patiently at the RV door to be let out. “She OK ta come out, luv?” You glanced away from your iPad, where you were checking your RV’s water levels, and nodded.

“Put her sweater on. Suppost’a get cold t’night.” He stopped part way to the door to look at you and shook his head.

“She’s a dog…”

“She’s my fur child and you will put the damn coat on her because she’s a big baby in the cold.”

“She’s a spoilt brat’s what she is.” You rolled your eyes and headed over to your seat by the fire with a smile on your face. “Come ‘ere, Tink’a’bell. Yer moth’a wants ye in yer coat, yer gettin’ yer coat.” You turned on the outside lights and the music and finally settled back into your chair as Tink came flying out of the RV only to come to a dead stop on the too cold for her feet ground. It was only in the sixties but you would think Tinkerbell thought it was sixty below. She started to whine and ran back into the RV. You looked up at Chibs smugly and crossed your ankles by the fire.

“Told ya, she’s a baby.”

“Ye’re not ta spoil our daught’a like tha’.” He said as he headed inside to make dinner.

“You think so. Ain’t you looked in the garage past few days? Ain’t nothin’ but baby stuff an’ a motorcycle.” He poked his head out the door and cocked his eyebrow at you.

“‘ow are ye wit’ spicy t’day, lass?” You shrugged as you rubbed your hand over your baby bump.

“Alright. Not too much though. Oh! Could you maybe bring me a blanket please when ya got a sec?” He nodded and stepped back into the RV, returning with a blanket and a glass of sweet tea a few moments later.

“Now, ye stay out ‘ere unless absolutely necessary. No peakin’.” You giggled and nodded at him as he arranged the blanket on your lap.

“No peakin’. Swear.”

——

“‘ey sleepy ‘ead.” You woke with a start and nearly threw your now tea soaked blanket into the fire. A startled yelp escaped your lips, causing Tink to lurch to her feet in the RV and bark twice in confused protection. “‘ey, jus’ me. Ye’re a’right, m’luv.” When you realized you were OK, you scowled and punched Chibs in the arm.

“I have mind ta tan your ass! Scarin’ a sleepin’, pregnant woman awake. Hell is wrong with you?” He bit his lip painfully hard to keep from laughing.

“‘m’sorry, sweetheart. I really didn’t mean ta scare ye. I called out ta ya. Dinn’a’s ready.” He offered you his hand and you took a moment to slow your heart rate and sooth your kicking daughter.

“Scared us half ta death.” You took his hand and let him pull you up out of the chair. His arm slid around your shoulder as you shivered in your wet outfit.

“Let’s get ye in ta somethin’ dry, then we’ll ‘ave dinn’a. Maybe s’mores ova the fire afta will get Tink outta the ‘ouse, too.” You nodded as you headed up the metal steps but paused in the doorway. You inhaled deeply and were assaulted with a tantalizing mix of onions, peppers, meat, spices and tomatoes. A smile spread across your face and your stomach growled loudly.

“Chili?” You asked as you glanced from the large pot on the stove back to him. He smiled and nodded his head.

“One a m’ favorites.” You nodded and tried to fight back tears.

“Mine too.” You squeaked. He chuckled and gently moved you toward the bedroom as he stepped into the RV.

“‘ope I did it justice. Now, no cryin’, luv. Go change outta those wet clothes so we can eat.”

“OK.” You squeaked as you let him turn you toward the room. You barely heard his chuckle over your sniffle as he went to serve two bowl before starting up the fireplace.

——

You had been awake for nearly an hour as Avery kicked her little heart out, practicing her current life goal of becoming a professional drummer. She had only started really kicking on a steady basis two weeks before at the beginning of your seventh month so you couldn’t be that mad at her. You were, however, beginning to approach the point of exhaustion. Out of no where, Chibs, who you hadn’t consciously, realized had his hand on your hip and his arm across your stomach, gently slid his hand down to your stomach.

“‘ey in there.” He whispered quietly as he scooted a little ways down the bed as carefully as possible. “Wha’s going on with m’ lit’l girl, hmm?” He found where his daughter was kicking and slid his calloused hand across the spot. Avery’s kicking stopped and she shifted toward her father’s hand. You could hear the smile in his voice as he continued talking to her.

“Tha’s m’girl. Keep kickin’ like tha’ ye’ll wake yer mum. An’ we don’ wan’ ta do tha’, now, do we? Between ye an’ me, she tends ta get a lit’l feisty when she first wakes up. Still cute as a button, though.” You smiled in the dark room as Chibs shifted on the bed to get a bit more comfortable. “I ‘ope ye look like ‘er, m’ li’l Avery Lynn. You’d be the mos’ beautiful lit’l girl in the world jus’ like yer mum.” He leaned forward on the bed and gently kissed your stomach.   
“Sleep now, mo ghaol. Sleep now.”

“What did you call her?” You said softly as he kissed your stomach once more. He looked up at you with a smile and scooted back up the bed.

“Mo ghaol. It’s ‘my love’ in Gaelic.” You nodded at him as he slid his hand back up to your hip. “Did I wake ye, luv?” You shook your head against the pillow and shifted a bit on the bed.

“No. I’ve been up. Kinda hard ta sleep when you got Ringo Starr’s prodigy practicin’ her moves on your belly button.” He huffed a laugh and nodded as he reached up and brushed your hair off your face.

“Can I kiss ye, luv?” You nodded against his fingertips and leaned toward him with a smile. His lips were softer than you remembered but the gentleness was still there. He shifted forward and pressed his body as close to yours as physically possible. There was no urgency, no desperation behind it as you gave his tongue access to your mouth. You slid your arm around his waist and put your leg over his hip. Both his hands slid around to your back and a small, content moan vibrated against your lips. When the need for air became necessary, he pulled back and rested his forehead against yours.

“Betta than I rememb’a.” He said softly. You nodded in agreement as he gave you one more chaste kiss.

“Night, baby.” He smiled and pulled you impossibly closer to him.

“Good nigh’, luv.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hey y’all. Happy Thanksgiving from my family an’ Tink, the vicious pitbull, who has taken up residence on the couch like a lazy bum.” You stepped to the side at your stove so that your live stream video had a direct view from where your phone was currently clipped by the stove to the couch that your pitbull was sprawled across in front of the fake fireplace ‘watching’ the second viewing of the Macy’s day parade on TV. “Ya know, we’re all hard at work here and you’re just layin’ there. Well the free ride ends here, missy!” She didn’t move a muscle so you turned back to your camera and went back to making potatoes for the Thanksgiving potluck at the KOA you were at.

“She’s so dang lazy. Who could blame her, though. Being in front of this damn stove is makin’ me so damn hot I think my head’s about ta pop from the pressure. Any who, just wanted to send a quick update while I got a minute. Yes, I know my website is down. I took it down for the night because I have a bunch of Black Friday surprises for you.” You brushed the back of your hand over your forehead to wipe away the sweat there and huffed. It was way too hot. You put a smile on your face and set your spoon down to go and prop open the door.

“So first thing’s first. Same as last year, there’s free shippin’ on orders thirty dollars and up tomorrow through Monday. Tumbled stones are going to be buy three, get one free.” You paused at the counter and grabbed your notebook of all the deals you had going on for the weekend. “Let’s see… there are literally hundreds of new rough stones and a bunch’a awesome geodes since y’all love those so much… Bunch a stuff.” You set down your notebook with a smile and came back over to the stove to stir your potatoes.

“Now, for the fun news. And bet your ass, it’s good shit so pay close attention. First, those Tinkerbell dressed like Tinkerbell cartoon bandanas and shirts I had last year are finally back! Yay! Second, Mossy Oak and I have partnered up to make new ball caps and the are freakin’ awesome!” You grabbed yours off the counter as your laptop rang beside you. You answered the call and held your finger up to the caller as you put the hat on your head.

“It’s just a plain, camo hat and it has a cute little pitbull with wings in the corner. So dang adorable. There’s only a thousand of these, they’re $24.99 an’ tomorrow, I’ll be doin’ a little contest through out the day for five lucky followers! An’ lastly… and this one is a you heard it here, first exclusive. Remember a few months back when I did that speakin’ engagement at that college with a certain, awesome Youtube sensation?” You grabbed your laptop and turned it toward the stove so your followers could see the screen. You smiled broadly as your friends, Jenna and Julien waved ‘hi’.

“Well first, these two lovely bitches are going to interview me again for their podcast, which comes out every Monday on soundcloud dot com slash Jenna Julien podcast. Then… for some reason, they’ve decided ta come out on the road with us for a week to experience the life…”

“Hell yeah! It’ll be so much fun!” Jenna squealed.

“She just wants to see the baby.” Julien said with a laugh.

“So, y’all will get to see these two and Kermit, Marble and Peach roughin’ it for a week in Yosemite for the New Year. So my house on wheels is gunna be crazy packed!”

“We’re all looking forward to it.” Jenna said. You smiled and nodded at your phone, which was exploding with comments and likes.

“So those are my updates for Thanksgivin’. Y’all can find Jenna an’ Julien on their YouTube channel, Jenna Marbles, which posts new videos every Wednesday. Hope y’all have lots of food an’ fun with your families. I gotta get back to making dinner for my massive road family. Love y’all!” You blew the camera a kiss and Jenna and Julien shouted ‘bye’ as you ended the live video.

“Yay! Now you ready for ours?” You nodded as you set your laptop down on the counter. Just like they had, you said a few words to their fans as you finished mixing butter and sour cream into your potatoes for dinner. As you slid the covered potato dish into the oven with the pecan pie you made to keep warm, you glanced at the clock, wondering where your boyfriend was as Jenna took her phone and headed out to her porch. “So have you told him yet?” You shook your head and smiled as you grabbed your laptop and headed over to the couch to get off your feet for a bit.

“Savin’ the surprise as long as possible. I got an interview on Monday for a travel magazine here in Nashville then we’re slowly headin’ out that way as long as Avery cooperates. I’m due Tuesday afta next an’ she seems perfectly content stayin’ in her warm waterbed as long as possible.”

“She’s a smart cookie. It’s barely in the sixties here and I’m frozen.” You let out a barked laugh and shook your head.

“Don’t start. It’s forty-two degrees here. I feel bad for Chibs. He’s been outside workin’ on a car for hours.” You glanced at the clock on your laptop screen and sighed. “Alright, I need to call him and find out where he is. We gotta get going to dinner. Happy Thanksgivin’ sweetheart!”

“Happy Thanksgiving, boo!” You blew a kiss at her as she ended the call and with a sigh, you shut your laptop. You looked over at your phone, which was still over by the stove and groaned. You set your laptop down on the couch and got up, stumbling a bit as Avery tried to roll in the small space in your stomach sending pain shooting through your back. You shuffled over to the counter and pulled it off the holder you had there. You dialed the familiar number and put the call on speaker as you headed back to the couch. Your whole body ached from being on your feet all morning and you happily sunk into the couch and closed your eyes.

“What?” Chibs snapped as he answered the phone. You sighed and put your phone on your stomach.

“Just callin’ ta see where you were. Fixin’ ta be dinner time.”

“I’m still busy.” Your brow furrowed slightly as you rolled your head and looked down at your phone. There was absolutely a drunken slur to his words.

“What’s up with you?”

“Jus’ go ta yer damn, dinn’a, (Y/N). I’m busy.” You sat up a little straighter as the phone call went dead. You quickly dialed the phone again, growling when your call was sent to voicemail.

“The fuck did I do?!” You shouted into his voicemail. You growled and hung up the phone before calling Stacy to come over and help you carry things over to the club house. She knew with one look at your face as you came out of your room with your blue, Thanksgiving sweater dress on, not to ask what was wrong.

“Well you look beautiful.” She said sweetly as she put the potatoes and pie in her warming bag. You gave her a small smile as you stepped into your boots and shrugged on your jacket.

“Thanks, Stace. Tink, you be good.” She huffed at you from her spot on the couch as Todd helped you out of the RV, which was a feat in and of itself. He held your arm and headed toward the main building when Chibs appeared out of nowhere. The stench of whisky made your stomach turn and you took a physical step back to get away from it.

“Ye know wha’ I don’ und’astand, luv.” He snapped as he pointed at you. “Ye’ve all these stupid followers an’ yet yer alone. All bloody alone. Ye call them yer family yet ‘ere we are. Surrounded by people who know shite about ye. Wit’ yer cameras an’…”

“Son, I think you need to go lie down.” Tod said as he moved protectively in front of you. Chibs shook his head and stepped with him so he could still see you.

“I’ve a family, luv. I ‘ave. An’ it’s not out’a desperation like yers.” You gasped as tears welled in your eyes and Stacy instantly moved in front of you.

“Chibs, go lay down.” She said with venom dripping from her voice. “Now. You have no right to speak to her like that.”

“I’ve… every right.” He said as he tried to step toward you again. You had no idea where this anger was coming from but today was not the day to deal with it.

“Go sleep it off, Filip… for Avery. I’ll bring you a plate in a little bit and you can tell me everything on your mind.” He looked like he was about to fight it but nodded to himself.

“For Avery.” Tears fell softly from your eyes as you watched him pull a bottle of whisky from his pocket. “’s’always for Avery.”

“Can you make sure he gets back?” You asked Todd as Chibs stumbled off in the wrong direction. He nodded and handed you off to Stacy with an aggravated sigh. He muttered under his breath as he grabbed Chibs’ arm and lead him toward your RV. “What did I do?” You asked Stacy as the two of you watched the two men walk away. She shook her head as she laced her arm with yours.

“You didn’t baby. He’s just a drunk Scot.”

——

You only stayed at the Thanksgiving feast for a couple hours before the ache in your heart and back sent you back to the RV. You brought back a big plate for Chibs, a few things for Tink, and a large assortment of desserts for yourself, to drown your own sorrows in chocolate and pumpkin pie. You though your body hurt earlier but now it felt like your muscles were on fire. And Avery wasn’t helping at all; she was now practicing her field goal kicks on your spine, ribs and lungs.

“Hey Tinkerbell. Yea, mommy’s home. Look out.” You said as you held the plates of food above your head. You looked over at the loud, angry sounding snore that came from your bedroom and tears filled your eyes. You sighed, set your plates down on the counter and started preparing Tink’s dinner. You tried not to think about Chibs’ words as you put his plate in the microwave and set the dog bowl on the floor. With a sigh, you toed off your boots and headed into the room to change.

“Luv?” You glanced over at Chibs as you pulled your dress off over your head. “Why are ye takin’ it off.”

“Dinner’s over, Filip.” You sighed as you tossed the blue material toward the washing machine. “Spent it with my fake family.” You heard him sigh and groan as you grabbed your flannel pajamas from the drawer. “I’ll sleep on the couch.”

“No… Yer pregnant, luv. I won’t ‘ave…”

“What? You won’t have what, Filip? Please, tell me when ya started carin’ about someone you ain’t know shit about. Ain’t that what you said?” You paused at the door to your room and turned back to look at him with tear filled eyes. “You have no obligation ta be here. I was gunna do this by myself anyways. You wanna be with your family that don’t involve your daughter, than go. Go be with them. I have my cameras after all.” You slammed the bedroom door closed behind you and stormed into the living room as you pulled on your PJ’s. Chibs came running out after you as you grabbed a blanket from the cabinet above the TV.

“Stop. Luv, stop.”

“What did I do?” You sobbed as you let him pull you into his arms. Your stomach turned violently at the overpowering smell of whisky. “What did I do?”

“No, shh… m’luv, ye did nothin’. I’m sorry, luv.” He held you tight and rubbed your back as he slowly backed up to the couch. He sat down and pulled you down onto his lap. “I jus’… Shite, luv. I got a call from ‘ome while I was workin’ on tha’ RV. Some of the boys went in ta jail for bull-shite charges an’ I jus’ snapped. I shouldn’t’a taken it out on ye.”

“No…” You sobbed as you shook your head. He smiled weakly and shook his head.

“No.” He kissed your forehead.

“We’re goin’ back for Christmas.” You choked as he used his calloused thumb to brush your tears away. “I know ya miss them. Heard ya talkin’ ta them last week. It was… ‘posed ta be a surprise.”

“Fuck… luv, I’m so sorry.” Out of nowhere, you heard a ‘pop’ like the way your ankles did when you rolled them before bed and a gush of water pooled between your legs. Your tears came out even harder as you shook your head.

“I think my water broke.” You sobbed. Chibs sighed and nodded.

“Yea, luv. It did.” He slipped his arm under your knee and behind your back and stood up with a small huff. “Let’s get ye too the ‘ospital, sweetheart.”

——

“‘ey ye all.” Chibs said softly as he held your phone out in front of him with one hand. His smile threatened to break his cheeks as he glanced down for a half second. “Chibs ‘ere wit’ (Y/N)… an’ finally, Miss Avery.” He shifted the phone in his hand to show the tiny, pink bundle in his arms. “Someone was finally ready ta take on the world… afta puttin’ ‘er mum through sixteen ‘ours of labor.” He chuckled slightly as he slowly rocked the chair he was in; his eyes locked on his beautiful baby girl. “She’s got ten finger’s an’ ten toes… an’ she’s perfect.”

“Mommy’s doin’ fine, too.” You said from your bed as you watched Chibs with your daughter. He glanced up at you with a smile and turned his attention, temporarily, back to the live feed on your phone.

“Yes, mum’s perfect, too. She let me be the one ta tell ye….”

“Cause ya begged…” You muttered as you pulled your blanket up to your chin in the cold room.

“… but I’m sure she’ll share more lat’a.” He said. “Now, I’m gun’ go spend some times wit’ m’girls. See ye, lat’a.” You smiled over at him as he ended the short video and set your phone down on the little table. He got up from the chair and came over to you with a giant smile on his face. “Ye did good, luv.” You smiled and nodded as he passed you your beautiful baby girl.

“We made her.” You said softly as you placed a gentle kiss to her forehead. He nodded his head and sat down on the bed beside your hip.

“Now we jus’ got ta not mess ‘er up too bad.”


	4. Still On The Road

“Hey, y’all. It’s your girls.” You said to the GoPro hanging off the rear view mirror so it could see not only you but Avery and Tink in the back seat as well. “So, Avery and I were talking today.” You started as you pulled off an exit toward the KOA you were planning on spending Fourth of July weekend at with your road parents, Todd and Stacy. “And we have a little debate going that we need your input on. As y’all know, I’m a Disney fanatic and for her fourth birthday, Miss Avery wants to make the trip over ta California ta go ta Disneyland. 

Now, y’all know how I feel about California, ain’t a secret but that ain’t the reason I wanna nix this Disney trip. My question to y’all is this. Is going ta Disney worth the price these days? I’m talkin’… at nearly hundred bucks a day, plus finding somewhere ta park the Palace, plus finding some where to board Tink for the full day at the park so she ain’t left in the house… is it worth making the trip over for a couple days in the park? Is the one in Florida a better idea? As always, leave your comments down below.”

“Let me go ta Disney!” Avery called out over you as you pulled into the KOA. You paused at the first stop sign and looked at the camera with a smile.

“But let’s be nice ta mama’s pocketbook, OK? Thanks y’all!” You and your daughter both blew the camera a kiss as you continued into the KOA to find your camping spot for the weekend. “You know your daddy’s gon’ be pissed.” Your sassy little girl shrugged as she put her books and toys away in her tote box in the back seat.

“I don’t care.” You nodded your head slowly as you pulled around the bend at a glacial speed so you wouldn’t hit anything or anyone. “I don’t like him.”

“Avery.” You said warningly as you pulled into the spot beside Todd and Stacy’s RV. “He’s still your daddy.”

“Then he shouldn’t’a left me.” She said as she met your eyes in the rearview mirror. You sighed to yourself as you put Sully, the pick-up truck you had bought a year before when Beast died, into park.

“Even still.” You said as you unbuckled your seatbelt. “You need to mind your manners when it comes to your daddy, like it or not. End’a the day, he’s still your daddy.” You looked back at her to unbuckle her and Tink’s seatbelts as she rolled her eyes. “Hey, be nice, missy or you won’t be going down to the pool with Pop for the movie tonight.”

“Yes, mama.” She said with a nod as she scooted out of her car seat. You shook your head as you grabbed your GoPro and laptop bag, and got out of the truck with a sigh.

“Hey munchkin!” Stacy said as she pulled open the back door of your truck to start in on her babysitting duties while you got your RV set up for the next couple days. “I missed you!”

“Mamaw, mama’s takin’ me ta Disney!” Avery cheered as she held onto Stacy’s shoulders while your friend helped her out of the high back seat.

“She is?” Stacy asked, enthusiastically as you picked up Tink and put her on the ground as well.

“We’re talking about it.” You said with your eyebrow raised as you turned on your iPad screen to put the stabilizing legs down before you unhitched the RV from your truck.

“Well, how ‘bout we go talk some more about it with Pop over some lunch and s’mores, huh?” Stacy said as she took your daughter’s hand, and turned her toward her campsite next door.

“Don’t you encourage her!” You called out as you hooked up the water line and the electricity. “You’re only gunna make it worse!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So yer comin’ ta California, an’ ye weren’t gon’ tell me?” Chibs asked, angrily not even an hour after you posted that weeks video blog on YouTube.

“Jesus Christ.” You grumbled as you worked on crystal orders on your bed while Avery slept peacefully in her bed on the other side of the living room in what used to be your garage. “Please tell me where ya heard me say that I was coming ta California…”

“Well if yer takin’ m’child ta Disney, then yer obviously comin’ ta California.”

“And that’s where you’re wrong.” You said as you set the finished order to the side and grabbed the next box. “I haven’t decided if we’re going to Disney, which is why I put it up for a vote.”

“An’ ye’re no’ gon’ ask my opinion…” Your ex asked, which instantly set you off.

“No, Filip. I’m not going to ask your fucking opinion on it.” You snapped as you got off the bed to shut your bedroom door. “You fucking left us, remember? You decided that the Sons were more important than your real family, not me. That was your choice.”

“I didn’t ‘ave a choice, (Y/N)!” He retorted over you. “Ye all but pushed me away…”

“I did nothing of the sort.” You countered with a shake of your head. “I begged you to stay for your daughter. I begged you to stay with your family. But your other family was more important to you.”

“Ah, that’s bullshite!”

“No, what’s bullshit is you leavin’ your girlfriend and your two year old daughter to become a felon.” You could almost hear his jaw snap shut and you nodded your head. “Yea, ain’t got nothin’ there, do ya? Look, I ain’t the one that picked up and left in the middle of the night, here. I ain’t the one that then spent a year in jail for guns. I ain’t the one who made the choice, you did. You ain’t got no dog in this here fight, Chibs. You made your choice and ya have ta live with it. You chose the club over the chance of being a father to your daughter. No one forced this hand on you the way they did with Kerrianne. This is all on you. 

So don’t you dare think you can come in almost two years later, and try ta play daddy, again. Ain’t how it works. You get your phone calls an’ you’re more than welcome to meet us for visits, but you ain’t the parent here no more. I am. So if I choose ta take my kid to fucking Disney for her birthday, then I’m gunna do it, and I ain’t gunna run it by you. If I do bring her to Cali, I’ll consider bringin’ her ta Charming, but again, that’s my call. I’m not legally obligated to do so, says so right in the custody papers. So I’d fucking watch your fuckin’ mouth with me, you hear?”

“Aye.” He growled in your ear, knowing that you were right in this situation. You sighed and leaned against your closet.

“I don’t want to be this bitch, Chibs.” You said with a shake of your head. “I don’t. But I can’t change what you did. This one ain’t on me.” Chibs stayed silent on the other end of the phone and if it hadn’t been for the slight tap of his whiskey glass against the phone, you would have thought he hung up.

“If ye come ta Disney for ‘er birthday, can ye come ta Charmin’? I miss ‘er.” You nodded your head slowly and looked down at your bare feet with a sigh.

“She’s really mad at you still.” You said as you glanced up at your closed bedroom door. “She doesn’t like you for leaving.”

“I know.” He breathed. “I know.”

“I’ll talk to her.” You said with a nod as you walked over to open your door since the yelling was over. “And I won’t make any promises because I don’t know if I can even afford Disney…”

“I’ll cover what ye can’t, luv.” He interrupted. “With good cash. Nothing made dirty. It’ll be from Caracara…”

“Yay. Porn money.” You sighed as you sat down on the end of your bed.

“I’m tryin’ ‘ere, luv.” He said with a hint of annoyance in his tone. “I’m fuckin’ tryin’.”

“I know.” You agreed with a nod. “I’m still thinking about it. It’s a lot to have to figure out in a short amount of time.”

“Alright, just… let me know then, aye?”

“Yea, I’ll let you know.” You agreed as you got up to look across your RV at Tink and Avery sleeping in the back room. “I’ll talk to you later.”

“Night, (Y/N).” You hung up the phone with a sigh and dropped your cell on your bed. Tink carefully picked her head up off Avery’s pillow and looked over at you, bringing a small smile to your face.

“’s’a’right, Tink.” You said softly with a nod. “Go back to bed, baby girl.” She huffed at you and curled back up beside your daughter, ever the protector of the little girl that stole both your hearts. With a smile, you turned back to your bed, and sat back down to finish your orders for the week.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Mommy, I go play with the pole?” Avery asked as she pointed across the pool at the group that was playing limbo. You sighed at your daughters choice of word as Stacy snickered in the lounge chair beside you.

“Just go, child.” You said as you waved your hand at her, sending her on her way to go and play.

“So you’re encouraging her to be a stripper?” Stacy teased once the three year old had run off.

“It’s good parenting.” You said with a shrug as you shifted on the lounge chair by the pool. “Maybe she’d get her father’s attention then.” The second the words left your mouth, you sighed and mentally scolded yourself. “That ain’t fair.” You backtracked. 

“Let me guess.” Stacy said as she looked over at you. “You talked to Chibs.” You nodded slowly as you watched Avery dip under the limbo bar by barely leaning backwards.

“He called last night.” You said as you looked over at your best friend. “Tried to yell at me for deciding to go to California without even telling him.”

“But you haven’t decided, officially.” She asked.

“Nope. I have a lot to look into first. But, after a little yelling, he did agree to help pay for it with porn money.”

“Wow.” Stacy said as she leaned back on her lounge chair under the big umbrella she had brought over from her RV. “What a class act.”

“Yea, you’re telling me.” You breathed in agreement. “I just can’t with him sometimes, you know? Like, he’s become a completely different person than the man that I originally met. You know, they say jail changes people but this is almost like a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde type transformation. And Avery wants nothing to do with him so I’m at the point where I have to ask myself do I force her to see her father or do I just let her justifiably hate her dad…”

“Ow! Mommy!” Your stomach turned at the sheer desperation in Avery’s voice, and your head whipped away from Stacy to watch her scrambling across the grass. “Mommy!”

“Avery?!” You called out as you lurched to your feet and ran across the pool deck as a man that had been working one of the grills picked your daughter up off the ground and ran toward the pool deck. Your daughter screamed in pain as hundreds of fire ants bit every inch of her body that they could.

“You’re OK.” The man said as he scrambled to brush the ants off her limbs as he brought her closer to you.

“It’s alright, Avery.” You said as you worked around the stranger to strip the ant covered bathing suit off your little girl. “It’s OK.”

“Can you hold her so I can get her back?” The man asked as he turned Avery toward you. You nodded and took your sobbing daughter from him.

“You’re OK, baby girl.” You cooed as you watched this stranger take control of a situation you otherwise wouldn’t have known how to handle.

“I need ice.” He said to who ever asked him if everything was OK. “Lots of it.”

“Mommy.” Avery sobbed as you searched her brown, curly hair for ants.

“I know, it’s almost done, baby.” You said as you fought back your tears to keep her calm.

“Is your campsite close so we can lay her down on the ice?” The man asked as he grabbed the bags of ice the man that had been working the kids games brought over for him. You nodded as you stood up with Avery in your arms and pointed in the direction your RV was thankfully just across the road.

“I got the bags.” Stacy said as she picked up Avery’s bathing suit off the deck by the strap. You nodded your head and rubbed your daughter’s back and legs to get any rogue ants off.

“Thank you.” You said as you finally looked up at the strangers gorgeous green eyes. The handsome gentleman smiled at you, and shrugged as he followed you with the ice.

“It’s nothing, ma’am.” He stopped for a moment to tell someone from his group to grab his bag from the truck before easily catching up with you and Stacy. “Do you know if she’s allergic to fire ants?” You shook your head and hesitated for Stacy to open your RV door for you.

“I sure hope not. Look out, Tink. Go lay down. We can lay her down here, and I have a couple ice packs in the freezer.” The man nodded as he pointed to the sink.

“We gotta wash her off real fast first. Get any venom on her off.” You nodded and headed into the bathroom by your bedroom as Stacy went to grab the ice packs from her freezer as well. You washed Avery from head to toe and your heart broke with every single angry red bite on her body. You toweled her off quickly and pulled her into your arms as Stacy came back in and put her ice packs on the counter for you before getting out of your way.

“Alright, this is gunna be really cold, baby girl.” You said as you shifted Avery in your arms to lay her down on the towel of ice the man had laid out on your couch. “But it’ll make it all better.”

“No!” Avery screamed.

“We gotta, baby.” You said as you pulled her arms from around your neck, and laid her down on the ice towel.

“Hey, look it’s not that bad.” He said with a smile. “Hey, can you tell me what your dog’s name is?” Avery looked up at him with tears in her eyes as he put his hand on her stomach to keep her in place on the couch so you could grab more towels and the ice packs.

“T-Tinkerbell.”

“Tinkerbell?” He said with an air of shock in his tone. “That’s a great name! So does that make you a Disney princess?” She nodded her head slowly as he took the towels from you and started to wrap them around more ice.

“Mommy’s… mommy’s takin’ me ta Disney.”

“She is?” He asked as he laid the towel across the angry red bites across her stomach and chest. “Wow! That sounds like so much fun! Who’s your favorite princess?” You smiled at his back and looked at the man that had walked up to your RV door.

“Jason?” He called out as he held up a red medics bag to show you.

“Yea.” The man that was helping your daughter said with a glance. “Thanks, bro. I’ll be back over there in a little while. Help them find that ant pile.” His friend nodded and passed him the bag before nodding at you and heading back over to the pool.

“Are you a doctor?” You asked as he pulled the bag over to his side and unzipped it.

“I used to be an EMT.” He said as he grabbed a couple squeeze and shake ice packs. “I live on the road now like you.” He said with a glance up at you. “But my digs aren’t as nice.” You smirked as you sat down on the couch by your daughter’s head.

“This was actually a gift.” You said as you looked around the RV you had called home for the past four years. “I started out with Tink in a 19 foot Scamp about seven years ago.”

“Oh, nice.” He said with a nod as he wrapped the last ice pack in a towel and put it on Avery’s leg. “I’ve been in a cab over slide in for about two years. It’s just me though.” He smiled as he sat back on the floor. “I’m Jason, by the way.”

“(Y/N), and this is Avery. It’s just the two of us and our dog in here.”

“Nice to meet you both.” He said as he shook your hand. “Sorry, it’s under such crappy circumstances.”

“Yea, understatement.” You agreed as you ran your fingers through your daughter’s hair and squished a rogue ant. “Thank you for your help, though.” You said again. “I would have had no idea what to do.”

“Ants are tough.” He said with a nod as he leaned his side against the couch. “Your first thought is to drown them, but that makes them bite harder. So you just wipe them off as fast as you can. Rinse whatever venom is left over, off, then cold compresses on and off every fifteen minutes. Benadryl and hydrocortisone cream will help the itch, and a good serving of ice cream will help cure anything else.”

“Well, who am I ta go against the doctors orders on that one?” You asked as you looked down at your traumatized daughter with a smile. 

“If it’s alright with you, do you care if I hang around for a little bit? Make sure she doesn’t have an extreme reaction?”

“Oh, absolutely.” You said with a nod. “I’d actually be more comfortable if you did. Can I get you anything? I don’t have beer here but I know Stacy and Todd do next door.”

“Just some water is fine.” He said with a smile. You nodded and got up to grab him a bottle of water as he turned his attention back to his patient. “So, have you ever been to Disney before?”

“No.” Avery said with a shake of her head as Jason subtly put his fingers on her wrist to check her pulse.

“No? Well you’re gunna have a great time. You’ll get to meet Mickey Mouse and Minnie. And even your favorite, Ariel! They’ll all be there.”

“It would be a birthday gift.” You said as you put his bottle of water down by his knee and sat back down on the couch.

“Wow. What a special birthday.” He said as he dug in his bag for a small notebook and a pen. “How old are you gunna be?”

“Four.”  
“Wow!” He breathed as he wrote down her pulse so he could keep track of it later. “Such a big girl already.” She nodded at him as he took her temperature. “I went a long, long time ago.” He told her to distract her from the itch and the pain. You smiled to yourself and watched this stranger talk to and take care of your little girl as if she was the only other person in the room. When the fifteen minutes of ice was up, he gave her a dose of Benadryl and helped you cover every inch of her body in cortisone cream. The Benadryl knocked her out before she was completely covered and he helped you get her dressed in a light sundress and a pair of pull ups and into your bed with Tink laying protectively by her side.

“I can’t thank you enough for everything you’ve done.” You told Jason as you cleaned up the melted ice off the floor while he repacked his medic bag.

“It’s nothing.” He said with a shake of his head and a smile.

“Can I at least make you dinner as a thanks? I was going to do walking tacos because my kid is weird and doesn’t like hot dogs and we did hamburgers for lunch…”

“Walking tacos?” He asked as he put his water bottle in his bag and slung the strap over his shoulder. You nodded and smiled as you stood by your front door in front of him.

“I’d explain but I’m just gunna tell you to come back around 5:30 to find out. How about that?” He chuckled and nodded his head.

“Alright. I’ll take you up on that one, then. Just because I’m curious.”

“Well, bring your appetite. You’ll need it.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You gots ta hold it open big.” Avery instructed as she taught Jason how to make a walking taco. She reached out and pulled the individual bag of Fritos open wider so that he could scoop his ground beef and toppings in without spilling them down the sides. “Then ya gets the meat next.”

“OK, show me.” He said as he scooted down a bit to where the pan of taco seasoned ground beef was. You stepped out of your RV with a bowl of fresh made salsa and smiled at Todd and Stacy, who were watching your currently half naked, calamine and cortisone covered child teach her new friend about her favorite meal.

“No, you don’t want those.” She said as Jason reached for the chopped onion spoon. “It’s yucky.”

“Alright.” He laughed as he put the spoon down and pointed at the bowl you had just put down. “No onions. What about salsa?” She shrugged as she reached up, and grabbed the spoon in the shredded cheese.

“That’s OK.” She said with a nod as she added some cheese to his bag. “Because mommy doesn’t make ‘em mushy like my daddy used to.”

“So, no squishy tomatoes.” He said as he helped her scoop some sour cream into his bag.

“No, they are yucky.”

“Hey princess.” You said as you cut open her bag and held it out for her. “Wanna make yours so you can eat?” She nodded and grabbed her bag as Jason stood up and grabbed a fork.

“I get it.” He said with a smile as he held up his bag. “Walking taco.”

“It’s one of her favorites.” You said as you watched your daughter make her own taco.

“Because she can do it herself?” He asked as she put her cheese on top of her taco meat.

“Exactly.” You laughed. “She is one independent little girl.” He nodded his head as he chewed his bite of taco while the pair of you watched Avery climb into her pink camping chair by the fire Todd had built.

“Was she born on the road?” You nodded your head and glanced over at him as you started your own taco.

“Day after Thanksgiving.” You laughed. “Actually, hours after. My water broke at like six in the afternoon and sixteen hours of labor later, she was born. She’s been on the road ever since.”

“Was it always just you and her?” You sighed and shook your head as you sat down in the chair next to him.

“Her dad was with me for the first two years. But life on the road wasn’t his cup of tea so he went back to California.”

“Sorry.” Jason said with a glance over at you.

“Don’t be.” You said with a shake of your head. “We were never really a couple that was meant to be anyways. He… well he was just a one night stand that felt obligated to be a dad afterwards. Which obviously didn’t work out.”

“Damn. I’m sorry I brought it up.”

“You’re fine.” You said with a smile. “He’s actually been brought up a lot in the last couple days with us talking about going to Disney. He actually called me about bringing her up to see him when we go out to California since he hasn’t had the chance to see her since he left.”

“Oh. Can I ask why?” You huffed a humorless laugh as Todd, who was helping his wife distract your daughter from the conversation you were having, glanced up at you, knowingly.

“He’s now a felon.” You said simply as you looked over at him. “He left his family behind and got busted doing stupid shit within a month.”

“Damn.” Jason said as he rested his Fritos bag on the armrest of the chair. “You picked a winner.” You laughed and nodded as you chewed your bite.

“Well the people you meet on the road are always hit or miss.” You said with a shrug. “I got lucky meeting Todd and Stacy. They’ve been looking out for me since I started this journey. And up until I met Chibs, I was very cautious about who I associated with on the road. He was a good guy when I met him and he did his best for my daughter and I when he was on the road with us. But the road life isn’t for everyone. So now I’m just even more cautious with who I trust.”

“And you trust me?” He asked as he looked over at you.

“Not at all.” You laughed as you turned on your chair. “I don’t trust anyone but at face value anymore. But all this shit I’m telling you you can find out about me if you follow my blog so I have no issue talking about it openly.”

“Well that’s good to know.” He chuckled as he took your empty bag from you and dropped both his and yours in the trash bag on the door. “So, let me ask you this. Out of all the places you’ve been, do you have a favorite that you can share with a newbie like myself?”

“Oh, absolutely.” You said with a nod. “I’ll make you a map. I’m actually headed to one of the places near here on Tuesday if you wanna tag along.”

“Sounds like a plan to me.” You smiled and nodded as you got up to clean up dinner and your daughter before dessert. When you stepped inside the trailer, Stacy got up and took your seat beside Jason.

“You listen to me and you listen good.” She said under her breath as she watched your shadow in the kitchen. “I see the way you’re looking at (Y/N). You wanna stick around and get to know her, fine. Be my guest. She could use someone other than us looking out for her. But if you put those girls through more pain than they have already been through, and I will personally kick your ass. I may be old and I may be small but those are my babies in there.”

“Yes, ma’am.” He said with a nod. Stacy pat his wrist and headed back to her seat as Avery came back out with a container of ice cream to go with the cast iron apple pie that had been cooking on the fire since you started dinner.

“We gots ‘nilla.” Avery said as she stepped over Tink and put the ice cream on the table by the fire. “It’s the bestest with mamaw’s apple pie.”

“I think I would have to agree with you there, kiddo.” Jason said with a nod as he got up to grab the plates and silverware from you with a smile. “How about I help you serve so the cooks can get a little break, OK?” She nodded her head and moved out of Todd’s way as he set down the cast iron skillet on the hot plate on the table.

“OK. I’ll do the ice cream!”


	5. Still On The Road

“I can see why this is one of your favorite places.” Jason said as the three of you picnicked by a small, unmapped lake in Colorado. You smiled and looked over at him as Avery played fetch with Tink in the water. “It’s beautiful here.”

“I found it by accident.” You told him. “I had been on the road for maybe a year and I got lost. I pulled over on the side of the road and camped out for the night and when I woke up the next morning, I went for a little walk and found this place. Avery actually learned how to walk here.”

“Wow.” He breathed as he looked around the scenic lake. “Thank you… for bringing me here.”

“Of course.” You said as you glanced over at him. “That’s the whole purpose of living on the road, right? To see the country you call home in a way you wouldn’t otherwise get to. And when you find places like this, what good is it to keep them to yourself?”

“Touché.” He said with a nod.

“Jason, come swim!” Avery called out with a laugh as she ran along the water line after Tink.

“Are you gunna teach me how?” He asked as he pulled his long hair back into a messy bun and got up off the blanket.

“A’course!” She squeaked as she ran over to grab his hand. “It’s real easy. Mommy taught me in one day!” You smiled as you rolled onto your stomach and grabbed your phone. You took a couple pictures for your Instagram as Tink came over and flopped down on the ground next to you, grateful for a break.

“Gets a little hard keeping up with her, don’t it?” You asked your seven year old pit as you scratched her head. She huffed in agreement and laid her head down on your towel beside yours. You took a photo of the two of you before posting the photos to your social media with a smile.

“Mama, watch!” Avery called out as she stood on a rock in the middle of the lake. You looked up at her as she jumped as far out as she could into Jason’s waiting arms. You cheered and clapped your hands as she wiped the water out of her eyes. “Did you see?”

“I saw, baby. Good job!” You called out as your phone rang on the blanket in front of you. You glanced down at Chibs’ face and sighed before choosing to ignore it. “Wanna show me again?” You asked as you got up off the blanket, leaving your phone and your past behind you to sleep with Tink. She cheered as she jumped out of Jason’s arms and swam back over to the rock.

“You just gunna ignore that?” Jason asked with a glance over toward the shore.

“My ex is Insta stalkin’ me.” You said with a nod. “So yea, I’m gunna ignore it.”

“Alright then.” He agreed as he prepared to catch your daughter again. “Ready when you are, princess.” Avery smiled and counted down before leaping into his arms again.

“She’s fascinated with you.” You said as Avery ducked under water and swam back to the rock, kicking water in both of your faces in the process.

“She thinks I’m Maui from Moana.” He laughed as he glanced over at you. “She told me while we were making dessert that first night.”

“Yea, I can see it.” You laughed as you got ready for Avery to jump to you. “Makes sense.”

“I guess I’m gunna have to watch more Disney movies if I’m gunna be keeping up with the two of you.” He joked as you caught Avery on her next jump. You glanced over at him and shrugged as she swam quickly back to the rock again. 

“You think you’re sticking around a while?” You asked, seriously. He nodded his head slowly and looked over at you.

“Honestly, I’d like the option of getting to know you. I can either do that by us going our separate ways for a while and talking over the phone or I can follow you and see the country with you guys. That, I’ll leave up to you. But one way or another, I’m gunna have to know Disney.” You smiled and nodded your head as he turned and caught Avery again.

“You’re right there.” You agreed. “And as far as traveling. Well, we’ll see how it goes day by day, OK?” He nodded in agreement as he let go of your daughter so she could continue wearing herself out.

“Besides…” He said as he gestured to your daughter with a smile. “…it can’t be a bad thing to keep a medic on hand with such an adventurous little girl running around.”

“That is also a very valid point.”

——

“So there’s a couple friends of mine that I met on the road who are rock climbing like half an hour away from here.” Jason said as he stood beside your truck, reading his texts as you put Avery into clean clothes so you could get on the road. “I don’t know if you’re a rock climber or not but it’s a nice hike one way or another.” You pursed out your bottom lip and nodded as you buckled your daughter in her car seat.

“I mean, I haven’t been rock climbing in years.” You said as you stepped around the back door to turn the truck air on. “But I’m always down for a hike. One of us may have to carry Avery back after, though.”

“I think I can handle that.” He agreed with a laugh. “The trail allows dogs, too as far as I know. Matt has a chocolate lab that goes with him everywhere so I doubt he would have found one that didn’t allow Tink.” You nodded your head as you leaned across your daughter to buckle Tink in as well.

“Well looks like we’re going hiking.” You said as you stepped off the runner and double checked Avery’s seatbelt. “Parking?”

“Free.” He said with a nod as he pulled his truck keys from his pocket. “Has a big parking lot, too so you’ll be fine.”

“Sounds like a plan.” You agreed as you closed the back door and looked up at him. “I’ll just follow you?”

“You got it.” You smiled at him and pulled yourself up into the cab of your truck.

“Looks like we have our afternoon adventure for today.” You said to no one in particular as you put your seatbelt on and looked up in the rearview mirror. “Yay!” Avery looked up at you from her book and sighed.

“Mama… take a chill pill.” You burst out laughing and shook your head as you pulled out onto the main road behind Jason’s truck.

“God, you are such your mother’s daughter.”

——

“Man, alive.” You said as you looked up at the giant rock formation that Jason’s friend’s had been scaling all morning. “I mean, I knew we were climbin’ but shit I’m fixin’ ta break my neck just lookin’ at this rock.”

“It’s easy.” Jason said as he helped tighten your harness around your thighs. “Just don’t…”

“If you tell me ta don’t look down, me-n-you are gunna mix.”

“You know you get more southern when you get nervous.” He said as he clipped the rope to the front of the harness.

“You hush.” You growled as you tightened your borrowed helmet. You glanced over at Avery, who was perfectly content with simply listening to music on your phone and using Tink’s body as a pillow to lean on. “Avery, turn up the music for mama.” Your daughter looked up at you and turned up the volume of your cell, letting Machine Gun Kelly echo off the rocks.

“Wow.” One of the guys, Ben, said as he glanced over at Avery. “You let her listen to MGK?” You glanced over at him and nodded as you squeezed a bit of chalk onto your palms from the chalk bag.

“You try listenin’ ta kids songs all day, every day in a car when you cain’t escape it.” You looked over at him with a shrug as you walked up to the wall to just jump in and climb. “She knows she can’t say the bad words. That’s all I care about. Besides, I swear at least ten times a day at idiot drivers so it ain’t like she ain’t never heard it before.”

“Nice.” Dave said with a nod as Jason took his spot behind you as the belayer and pulled the rope taught with a smile. “Now if only I could do that with my nephews, too. If I never listen to the Frozen soundtrack ever again it’ll be too soon.” You smirked to yourself as you checked in with your belay to make sure he was ready before letting him know that you were climbing like you were supposed to.

“Oh, Lord have mercy.” You groaned as you pulled yourself off the ground completely, giving Max room to shove a climbing pad under you on the ground just in case. “Y’all. This ain’t fuckin easy as ya liars make it look.”

“Just climb.” Jason laughed as Avery finally looked away from your phone.

“Go mama!” She cheered as you pulled yourself up a bit farther with a groan.

“You wanna go next?” Jason asked as he glanced down at her for a half second before looking back at you to make sure you didn’t get hurt.

“Can I?” She asked as she lurched to her feet.

“Sure, come over here, sweetheart.” Matt said as he waved her over. “Walk behind Jason, though.” She nodded and ran around Jason with a peeled laugh.

“Be careful, Avery Lynn.” You called out as you looked around for your next hand hold.

“Up and to your far left.” Jason called out. “Yep, right there.”

“Oh, you sonovabitch.” You growled as you stretched as far as you could go to reach the hold. You caught it with just the tips of your fingers and cringed as the very edge gave way, causing you to fall off the face of the wall. “Damn.”

“You did good, babe.” Jason called out as he lowered you down to the ground. “You got about half way up. It only gets harder from there.” You nodded in agreement as you braced yourself against the wall and got your footing on the climbing pad. 

“I’m gunna feel that shit tomorrow.” You laughed as you took off your helmet with a huff.

“Alright, Avery. You’re turn.” Jason said as he unclipped the carabiner. You glanced over at your daughter, who had a harness on that was way to big for her, but before you could say anything, Jason glanced over at you. “I’m going to be right under her the whole time. She won’t be out of my reach at all.” You nodded at him and stepped out of his way.

“Alright, baby girl. Show them viewers how’s it’s done.” Avery nodded and stepped onto the safety pad while Jason hooked up the rope. Matt pulled it tight behind you as Jason pointed out where she needed to put her hands and feet first. You jogged over and grabbed your GoPro, which you had put on the ground by where the belayer stood and raced back over so you could capture your daughter’s first time rock climbing.

“Right there, you got it.” Jason said as he lightly held on to Avery’s waist to keep a lot of her weight off her limbs so she could last a little longer and climb a little higher.

“Mama, I’m climbin’!” She squealed as she pulled herself up to the next spot that was just barely at Jason’s shoulders.

“Go Avery!” You and Jason’s three friends cheered. A proud smile spread across your face as Avery climbed for another minute, before reaching a spread between holds that she just couldn’t make.

“I can’t…” She growled as she reached with all her might.

“That’s OK, Ave.” Jason said with a nod. “Just let go. I’ll catch you.”

“Promise?” She asked, apparently not realizing that he had his fingers on her sides as is.

“I promise.” He said with a smile. With a slightly panicked shout, she let go of the wall and landed safely in Jason’s arms.

“Again!” She laughed as he put her down on the ground.

“We gotta wait our turn, child.” You reminded her with a giggle as you crouched down to her level. “What do you have to say for yourself, little rock climber?” She smiled and looked over at the GoPro in your hands as Jason unclipped the rope from her harness.

“I’m Batman.” She growled before bursting into a fit of giggles.

“Aaaand I’m done.” You laughed as you shook your head. “God, you’re somethin’ else, kiddo.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Was it hard?” Matt asked as you all sat on the back porch of your RV in a truck stop parking lot eating pizza and having a few beers after a long day. “Raising a kid on the road?” You shrugged as you glanced over at Avery, who was curled up on Jason’s lap, watching Moana for the hundredth time on Netflix on your laptop with him.

“I don’t think so.” You said as you glanced over at him. “I mean, I just made due. Her dad was with me when she was born, so it made things a li’l easier but it was never hard per say. Sure, we had to make shorter drives each day at first but you’ll learn that that ain’t such a big deal at the end of the day. She co-slept with us until she was two and then she wanted her own bed anyways. It’s the same as goin’ at it alone but you just have someone else ta talk to. I find I don’t talk to my cameras nearly as much as I used ta.”

“Wow.” Ben said with a shake of his head as he popped the top of another Guinness can. “I’ve been on the road three years and you’re braver than half the men I’ve met out here.” You smiled at him and shrugged as you curled your feet up on your camping chair.

“I’m not doing anythin’ special, hun.” You said. “I’m just livin’ the road life, takin’ it day by day, just like y’all are.”

“Mama.” Avery said as she pulled out her headphone and looked over at you. “Dad’s callin’.”

“Then answer it.” You said with a nod and you gestured vaguely at her.

“I don’t wanna.” She said as she held the laptop out to you.

“Avery Lynn.” She sighed and hit the answer button with a scowl.

“Hi dad.” She grumbled. She rested her head on Jason’s chest as Chibs said something to her with a forced smile.

“He um…” You said softly as you looked away from the laptop screen while Avery told him what she did that day. “He left just after her second birthday and spent some time in jail. She took it really hard.”

“Damn, I bet.” Dave said with a shake of his head. “What a piece of shit.” You nodded in agreement and shrugged your shoulders as you picked up your beer.

“Y’all’ll learn real fast that you cain’t trust everyone ya meet on the road. Trust ‘em at face value but always lock your doors. And Tink may look harmless as a field mouse but bet your ass, you come near my house, she’ll rip your damn arm off if…”

“Whoa!” Jason said suddenly as Avery suddenly burst into tears. “Who the fuck do you think you are, bro?”

“What happened?” You asked as your daughter scrambled to get to you.

“Asshole’s tellin her she’s gunna stay with him a while after you guys take her to Disney.” Jason said as he ripped the headphone cord out of the laptop and held it out toward you.

“Over my fucking dead body!” You shouted as you tried to comfort your daughter and grab the laptop at the same time. “You so much as think about taking my daughter from me, and I’ll knock your ass in ta the middle’a next week lookin’ both ways ta Sunday. She is my kid, Filip. Mine. You have no fuckin’ right ta her and that’s your own fuckin’ doin’. Don’t you dare try ta come near my baby girl or I’ll fucking cancel your birth certificate, you hear me?!” You reached out and slammed the screen of your laptop down, ending the call before Chibs could even get a word in.

“Alright, guys. Show’s over.” Jason said as you got up from your chair and headed through the sliding, plastic door that separated the porch from Avery’s bedroom. She sobbed your name as you laid her down on the bed so you could clean up and lock up the back porch for the night.

“You’re not going anywhere, baby girl. I swear on my life.” You promised as you pat the bed beside her for Tink. “Let mommy clean up dinner then we can go watch a movie in my bed, OK?” She nodded and snuggled into Tinkerbell’s side in fear. You gave her the best smile you could muster before heading back out on to the porch.

“She OK?” Jason asked as he packed up the last chair and laid it down on the deck.

“She will be.” You said as you started to angrily chuck beer cans toward the trashcan. “You know, I fuckin’ bend over backwards to be nice to that mother fucker and this is the shit he pulls. Tellin’ a three year old that he’s takin’ her from her mama. Who the fuck does that?”

“Hey.” Jason said softly as he gently grabbed your arm. He pulled you into his chest and wrapped his arms around your shoulders. “It’s OK.” You nodded subtly and burst into scared, frustrated tears.

“I hate him.” You sobbed as you wrapped your arms around his waist. “I hate him so much.”

“I know.” He sighed as he rubbed his calloused hands down your spine. “But it’s all going to be OK, sweetheart. I promise.” You nodded against his stomach as he leaned down and gently kissed the top of your head. “Come on, let’s get this closed up so you can go to bed.” You nodded again as you took a step back and wiped your tears off your cheeks.

“Thank you.” He gave you a tight lipped smile and nodded.

“Of course, sweetheart. Any time.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You didn’t sleep very well that night; fearing every single sound outside to be Chibs’ coming to take your little girl. At quarter to five, you finally just gave up and got up to get a head start on editing the footage you got on your GoPro’s for that weeks vlog. You threw on a maxi dress, not wanting to bother with much more so you didn’t wake up Avery and grabbed your bags on the way out the door. You hesitated for a second on the stairs and smiled weakly down at Jason, who was leaning his chair casually against the side of your RV, watching the truckers milling around the truck stop.

“Have you been out here all night?” You whispered as you closed the RV door softly behind you.

“Couldn’t sleep.” He said with a shrug.

“Shoulda texted me.” You said as you sat down on the steps and put your bags down on the ground. “I kept hearin’ imaginary motorcycles all night long.” He nodded his head in agreement as you ran your fingers through your hair.

“About that.” He said as he let the front legs of his chair hit the ground so he could lean forward to see your face. “I gotta ask… how valid a threat could it really be if he made one?” You sighed loudly and leaned forward on your knees.

“He’s in a biker gang.” You said quietly as you looked over at him. “If he really wanted to, I’m sure he has reach all over this damn country. But the Filip I knew wouldn’t sink to that level. Some of his brothers? Maybe, but not Filip. On the other hand, Avery’s his second daughter. The second daughter that he doesn’t have in his life because of his actions with the MC. Could that drive a man to desperation? I don’t know.”

“OK.” Jason said with a nod as he pushed his hair back with his palms. “When I was in college, my buddy’s sister dealt with a stalker and it got ugly, fast and she didn’t have a kid with the guy. So after you went to bed, I talked to the guys. If you don’t mind it, we wanna travel with you for a while as a group because you shouldn’t be out on the road by yourself when you’re working out the kinks of a custody case. It’s also kinda more efficient for us anyways since you probably know all the best spots to go and see. Because bikers or not, you can bet your ass that if your ex pulls up to your RV and my ass walks out the door, someone other than me is taking a step back. Especially if I don’t have a shirt on.” A small smile pulled at the corner of your lips as you glanced over at him from the corner of your eye.

“I mean… you make me stumble a bit, ain’t gunna lie.” He smirked and searched your eyes as a slight brush crept across your face. You bit your bottom lip and looked away for a moment to collect your thoughts. “Y’all have to know…” You said after a moment as you looked back over at him. “… while I don’t think they’ll do anything, a lot of these guys have killed before.”

“So, then we’ll head east away from California for a while.” He said with a nod. “We’ll be mindful of staying in one place too long and posting locations on social media. It’s simple fixes, sweetheart.”

“Yea, but it’s so much to ask of someone that doesn’t even know me, you know.” You said as you sat up and leaned back against the door of your RV. “Y’all are taking on a major responsibility of dealin’ with a kid which, while I may make it seem easy in, what, the week that you’ve known me. It ain’t all peaches and cream with this one. She’ll go a couple weeks being a complete angel and then she’s a monster for a week straight just because she can be. And I can already tell y’all are wantin’ ta be adventurous and shit but right now, my adventure consists of short morning hikes and stopping at like the worlds biggest ball’a twine and shit.”

“That’s real?” He asked as he looked over at you. Your face deadpanned the slightest bit and you nodded.

“It’s in Kansas and we’ve been twice.”

“Oh, man.” He laughed with a slight shake of his head. “Alright, so our lives on the road is a little tamed down for a couple months. Big deal. If the guys wanna be a little more adventurous, we can work it out. And, bonus, at the end of the day, we get to see what it’s like to maybe raise a kid on the road. Kinda gives us a slight peek to what our lives may or may not look like, you know.”

“Alright.” You said with a nod. “But, like I said last night, I don’t know y’all, so I’ll be lockin’ y’all out of my RV at night. And just remember, I do run a business out of my truck that is slightly time consuming in my week and y’all will be on YouTube… a lot.”

“I expect nothing less.” He agreed as he pushed his chair back against your RV to watch the sunrise. 

“But that comes with its perks.” You said as you crossed your legs and fixed the material of your dress. “Like have you noticed most of the shit in my RV and my truck is Mossy Oak Camo? They are one of my biggest sponsors, shockingly. Between you and me, I fucking hate camo. Shit is so damn tacky. But, they pay me for product placement, which pays for Avery and my health insurance. GoPro pays for gas for Sully and the Palace’s generator.”

“Jesus.” He said as he looked over at you with his eyebrow raised. “How the hell…?”

“Seven years.” You interrupted with a slow nod as you looked out across the parking lot. “Seven long years of promoting companies and kissin’ a whole bunch of cooperate ass.”

“Well at least it pays, hun.” He said as he gestured to his truck, which he had parked right behind the back of your RV. “That’s what I can afford until my house in Hawaii sells.”

“Trust me when I tell you this.” You said as you grabbed your bags and got up to get coffee started for you and the guys. “That’s your starter RV. One day, you’ll find yourself in an RV as big as mine and you won’t know what to fucking do with the space.”

“Guess only time will tell.” He agreed as he stole a glimpse of your ass when you went into the RV.

——

“Alright, so let’s make a game plan.” Dave said after breakfast as the five of you sat at the dining room table that turned into Avery’s bed in the back of your RV. You glanced up at him with your eyebrow raised at even the general idea of a plan on the road as he laid a map down on the table.

“Um…” You said as you picked up your coffee mug to get it out of the way and exchanged a look with Avery, who knew how you felt about plans.

“God’s gunna laugh at you.” She said as she crossed her arms over her chest. “You make plans, and God just laughs.”

“Yea, well we need to know where we are temporarily avoiding.” Ben said. You nodded slowly as you looked back down at the map with a sigh.

“Alright.” You said with a nod as you tilted your head to the side. You sighed and set your coffee back down on the corner. “So the Sons are mainly based in California but I know there are other charters in Nevada, Arizona, Oregon, Washington, Utah, and New Mexico. They have some overseas, too but they also have a Nomads charter that doesn’t have a home base. They stay toward the west coast as far as I know but that’s not to say they won’t travel.”

“So the West coast is completely off limits.” Jason said as he reached out and folded that section of the map back. “So we stay East of the Rockies. Simple.”

“Alright.” You said with a nod. “So we’re in Colorado now…”

“Mama, we still go to Disney?” You looked over at Avery as she stood up on the bench to look at the map with you.

“Um… well…” You said as you looked up the guys.

“Well… I’ve never been to Disney.” Jason said with a glance at his friends.

“Actually, me neither.” Matt said.

“This is the first time I’ve left California.” Dave said with a shrug as he leaned back on the booth like chair. “So I guess I’m down.”

“Well, looks like you’re going to Disney, Princess.” Ben said with a smile as he picked up Avery and put her on his lap. 

“But you still have to wait for your birthday.” You said before she could even cheer. Her face fell into a pout and you shrugged your shoulders. “Look, mama’s got bills to pay and crystals to sell to take you to Disney first, you gotta give me some time, OK?”

“OK.” She pouted.

“And that means, we have to swing through Arizona.” You sighed. “Because I have to stock up my shop for a while and that’s where most of my contacts are.”

“Alright.” Jason said as he moved your coffee and folded up the map. “So let’s see what kinda adventure we can find between here and Arizona.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“This is safe, right?” You asked as you zipped Avery into a life vest to take her on her first ever white water rafting trip.

“It’s safe.” Your guide, Brooke, said with a nod. “Trust me. I bring my two year old on this river all the time. It’s only a class two so it’s as tame as you can get.”

“You ready?” Jason asked as he came over and dropped a helmet on your head with a smile. 

“Not at all.” You said as Avery jumped up and down while cheering ‘yea’.

“Stop worrying.” He laughed as he put his arm over your shoulder. “It’s gunna be fine.”

“You say that now.” You said as you grabbed the sunscreen off the table to put some on Avery’s face and exposed limbs. “But then the next thing you know, we’re going over a rapid in the water…”

“Relax.” Jason said with a smile as he took the sunscreen from your hands. “You’re sitting in the bottom of the raft with her. She’s a good swimmer and she has a life vest. Trust me, OK?” You groaned as he turned you around to put sunscreen across your back. You glanced down at Avery, who was talking to Max about a mile a minute in her excitement, and sighed.

“I hate you for talking me into this.” You huffed.

“Here you go.” Dave said as he held out a life vest for you.

“Does it have a mouth piece or something?” Jason joked as he tossed the sunscreen in your river bag. “Shut her up for a minute?”

“Haha.” You sassed as the tour guide gave the all call to get on the busses. You grabbed the GoPro you were bringing on the rafting trip. “Come on, Avery. Let’s get on the bus.” With another cheer, she ran back over to you and practically dragged you toward the crowd surrounding the bus. 

The bus ride was only about forty-five minutes long and the whole time, you sat beside Jason with Avery in your lap, trying not to over think the decision of putting your daughter in a dangerous yet completely safe situation. Sure, the company you chose specifically catered to families that had younger kids and yea, you were choosing to sit with her and not paddle the boat to guarantee that you had a better chance of making sure she didn’t hit a rock or get trapped if the raft did flip but that still didn’t settle your nerves.

“Hey.” Jason said softly as the bus pulled up to the put it. “You can take her back if you’re really not comfortable with this.”

“It’s alright.” You sighed with a small shake of your head. “I’m just overthinking it.”

“You sure?” He asked as he grabbed his paddle and helmet.

“No.” You laughed as you put Avery down and stood up behind her. “But I’m gunna do it anyways.”

“That’s my girl.” He chuckled as he stood up with his head ducked and followed you out of the bus.

“Avery Lynn.” You called out when she tried to run down to the water in her cute, pink water shoes and her blue Moana bathing suit. “We gotta wait our turn.” You triple checked the tightness of her bright orange life vest and helmet and took ahold of her hand to keep her close as the boys grabbed your raft and helped Brooke carry it to the line to get into water.

“(Y/N), you gotta get in.” Max called out as your boat was pushed into the water.

“Come on, Ave’s.” You said as you took Avery’s hand and lead her down to the water line. You got into the middle of the two tubes and sat down so that Jason could pass you Avery. “You ready?” You asked her as you situated her on your crossed legs so her butt was touching the rubber bottom.

“Ready!” She cheered as she grabbed the handle in front of her. You nodded to yourself as Ben and Dave took the front two spots and Jason and Max sat on either side of you and Avery.

“Alright, guys. Let’s do some rafting!” Brooke, with your GoPro clipped onto her helmet for you, cheered as she and another guy pushed the raft the rest of the way into the water. You nervously wrapped your arms around Avery’s middle as you approached the first rapid that was only a few dozen feet away and it took only a few moments for your daughter’s fear to really kick in.

“Mommy…” She said when the roar of the water going over the rocks got even louder with each second. “No, mommy, no!”

“It’s OK, baby.” You said as she clung to your arms and started to cry. Regret instantly filled your stomach and you knew there was absolutely nothing you could do to stop this from happening. As the boat hit the first rock, Avery screamed your name in sheer terror, and you cursed the boys in your head for making you agree to this.

Time seemed to stand still as Brooke shouted simple commands to paddle forward and ice cold water spilled into the boat, soaking you from head to toe in seconds. You couldn’t do anything but hold your daughter tight and pray that she wouldn’t hold this against you for the rest of her life because you actually loved the adrenaline rush this was giving you. But, nearly just as quickly as it started, the short, class 1 rapid was over. Your head whipped to the side to look at your daughter’s face as she wiped the water from her eyes.

“Avery?” You asked hesitantly as you studied her face.

“It’s over, mommy?” She asked as she sat up a little more to look over the front of the boat.

“Yea baby. That one’s over.” You said with a nod, causing her to instantly pout.

“Aw, man. I wanna do it again.” A huffed laugh escaped your lips as you sat up straight behind her and gave her a tight hug.

“We got a bunch more. Don’t worry, baby.”

“And you were worried she was gunna hate you.” Jason teased as he bumped your shoulder with his knee while paddling toward the next rapid under Brooke’s direction.

“Shut up, Jay.” You laughed as Avery bounced against your legs in preparation for the next rapid. “Put your hands up, Avery. I got you.” You said as you lifted her hands off the handle so they were up on either side of your face. She screamed excitedly as the raft was taken through the dip between two big rocks, spraying everyone with water.

“I think she likes it.” Dave called out with a laugh as the four guys paddled like a well oiled machine through the rapid.

“Little bit.” You yelled back as you held your daughter to your chest, finally glad that you let the boys talk you into this experience.


	6. Still on The Road

“Alright, princess. Walk, don’t run. Don’t touch anything bigger than both your hands together, and go pick out the prettiest ones you can find.” You reminded your daughter like you did every time you came shopping as you walked into your main supplier’s massive warehouse. Avery took off in the fastest walk possible with her play shopping cart that you had long since lined with a cotton lined cardboard box in front of her as Jason whistled loudly beside you.

“This is impressive.” He said as you grabbed a flat bed cart and set your fifty or so empty tote boxes of random sizes and on it.

“Welcome to my job.” You said as you pointed to the right to start from one side of the room so you could work your way across. “You know you could’a gone rock climbin’ with the rest of the guys.” You tried as you stopped in front of a five shelf shelving unit full of rose quartz in various sizes, shapes, and cuts.

“Truthfully?” He said as you grabbed the first tote off the stack and set it to the side. “I’m a little bit sun burnt from rafting yesterday so I’ll stick to the shade today.”

“Oh ho!” You teased as you grabbed a dozen palm sized hearts and laid them carefully in the bottom. “Mister muscles has a weakness. I told ya to put on the dang sunscreen.”

“Yea, well I have my bad days just like every one else.” He laughed as he looked around. “Do you want me to help?”

“No, it’s a’right.” You giggled as you picked up a rose shaped stone and looked at its quality. “Actually, yea.” You said as you looked over at him while putting the rose in the bottom of the tote. You grabbed the next tote and handed it to him “If ya wanna start with the tumbled stones. I need four dozen each of the rose quarts, the clear quarts, and the amethyst. So these small ones here. This one, this one, and the one behind me.” He nodded his head as you handed him the piece in your hand with a smile. “Be exact though, I pay for them individually and they give me a good price so I don’t wanna jip ‘em.”

“You got it.” He said as he stood beside you and started grabbing the tumbled stones from the basket. You grabbed a few more cute statue pieces, and a couple wands and points before putting the top on that box and moving on to grab similar items in the clear quartz. “So do you believe in this stuff?” He asked as he moved over to the shelf beside you.

“Not really.” You said as you rubbed your thumb across a small, black inclusion on one of the wands before adding it to the tote. “Kinda. I mean, they’re pretty to look at, and I have a few of them in my truck and my house and I got a piece of citrine in my wallet for prosperity, but if I have a head ache, I ain’t typically rubbing a rock on my forehead and shit. But to each his own, ya know. I have a book that tells me about the basic uses because I send out the information cards with each purchase, which means I have a basic, general knowledge… I don’t know, I live in nature so I guess I believe it by default if that makes any sorta sense.”

“I get it.” He said as he moved over to the amethyst. “I’m part Hawaiian and part Native American, remember. Eastern medicine traditions run deep in my blood. I turn to natural medicine over store bought stuff any day, but that’s how I was raised.”

“Do you miss it?” You asked as you moved on to the amethyst with a new tote. He looked over at you as you gave him a quick run down of the colors, and amounts you needed of the tumbled fluorite and he shrugged.

“I’ve been gone a long time.” He sighed as he started counting stones and carefully adding them to the box under his arm. “I went to college in Iowa, Colorado, and the Florida Keys, I’ve been to Paris, and Tibet to study painting and the Buddhist teachings, respectively. And I realized that I like traveling a hell of a lot more than I do anything else. Sure, Hawaii’s fucking gorgeous and all but damn, isn’t the rest of the world just as beautiful.” You paused and looked over at him as he grabbed the last handful of green fluorite and added it to the box.

“See, now where the hell have you been all my life?” He smirked and looked over at you with a shrug as he closed the tote and added it to the pile of full boxes.

“Traveling, just like you.” You nodded and put your amethyst box down with the rest.

“Well, if you ain’t just the most amazing man alive.”

“Shut up.” He laughed as he grabbed a new tote and pointed to the next group of shelves. “What’s next?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Are you sure you got that?” Jason asked as you sat on your bedroom floor, organizing the newest, smaller gemstones to their respectful drawers in the giant organizer in the bottom of your closet.

“I’ve been doin’ this for years, Jase.” You said over your shoulder as he and Avery, who had been asleep since five minutes in to Moana for the millionth time on your bed behind you. “I got it.”

“You know, you’re just making me feel bad over here.” He joked as he scratched Tink’s head, absentmindedly. You laughed and glanced over your shoulder at him as you slid the drawer of azurite in granite also known as K2 closed.

“Why?”

“I don’t know. Heavy lifting, male stereo type, all that shit.”

“I’m gunna stop you right there.” You laughed as you sorted out the aquamarine next. “Trust me when I tell you, I don’t need a man to take care of me. I gotta dog and a vibrator.” Jason burst out laughing and quickly covered his mouth when Avery stirred in her sleep beside him.

“Well then.” He said as he cleared his throat with a cough. “I’ll let you do your thing, then.” He shook his head and rested his hand on Avery’s stomach so she would stay asleep and she whined in her sleep. You turned around to look at her as Jason reached up to feel her forehead. “(Y/N), she’s really warm.”

“What?” You asked as you dropped the stones in your hand in the drawer and scrambled to your feet. You felt her forehead, worriedly as she moaned again. “Can you stay with her…”

“Yea, I’m here.” He said as you got up and headed to your bathroom to grab your thermometer. You rushed back into the room and kneeled down on the bed beside her.

“101.” You sighed when the ear thermometer beeped. “Crap.”

“Is that, like, hospital bad?” You shook your head as you sat down beside Avery and brushed the hair out of her face.

“No, but that does mean I’m stuck in Tucson for a couple days until she gets better. She’s a monster when she’s sick.”

“Are you safe to stay here?” You looked over at him out of the corner of your eye and shook your head the slightest bit.

“They have a charter in Tucson… and the club house is about twenty minutes from here.”

“Shit.” He groaned as he ran his fingers through his hair. “Alright, so we stay under the radar. I’ll make all the runs…”

“Jase…” You tried but he shook his head.

“I’m here, (Y/N).” He said softly as Avery groaned in her sleep again. “Even if the other guys go, I’m staying right here.” You nodded slowly as you looked back down at your daughter.

“Alright.” You whispered with another look over at him. “Can you run up to the store for me?”

“Just tell me what you need, sweetheart.”

——

“Mommy it hurts!” Avery screamed as you sat on the small seat in the shower with her the next morning.

“I know, baby girl.” You breathed with a nod of your head as you tried to quickly wash the vomit from her hair so you could take her to the hospital. “Just hold on for me, OK?” She nodded slowly and continued to sob as grabbed the hand held shower sprayer.

“I grabbed her a dress from the closet.” Jason said as he laid down the clothes you asked him to grab on the toilet. “I took Tink out and put her up in Avery’s room with some food and water.”

“Thanks, Jay.” You said as you turned off the water and grabbed a towel off the counter. “Alright, baby. Mommy’s gunna make it better.” You got out of the shower, dried her off, and got both of you dressed as quickly as possible. You went to carry her out of the RV to your truck, but Jason easily took her out of your hands.

“Come on, princess.” He said softly as he rubbed her back and walked as carefully as he could down the stairs. Your hands shook as you locked the door behind you and ran to open the back door of your truck. A small, very weak smile pulled at the corner of your lips when you heard Jason singing ‘You’re Welcome’ to her softly as he set her gently in her car seat.

“You’re good with her.” You whispered as he buckled her in and checked to make sure the strap was tight. 

“She reminds me of my goddaughter.” You nodded your head as he shut the back door and pulled your door open for you. You got in and buckled your seatbelt quickly as Jason jogged around the front of the truck and got in the passenger seat. He put the hospital’s address in your GPS and sighed.

“It’s alright, baby girl.” You tried again as Avery continued to cry in the backseat. “It’s all gunna be OK, soon.”

——

After getting to the hospital, every thing went at lightening speed. Within two hours, Avery had been diagnosed, and taken to emergency surgery to have her appendix removed. You knew you didn’t have a choice but to call Chibs and sure enough, not twenty minutes after you hung up the phone with him, three members of SAMTAZ showed up at the hospitals doors.

“Are they gunna try to take her?” Jason asked as you paced in a small circle in front of him. You shook your head as you watched one of the guys point you out through the window to another guy on his cell. 

“Probably just making sure I’m telling the truth, and not trying to draw him into a trap for violating parole by leaving the state before his probation officer OK’s it.” He nodded at you as you looked down at your feet and continued to pace in the waiting room. 

“She’s gunna be fine, baby.” Jason said softly as he watched you walk back and forth. “She’s a fighter, I know it.” You nodded your head, mechanically as you started chewing on your thumb nail. After almost three hours, a nurse finally came out to tell you Avery was finally in recovery.

“He’s with me.” You informed her as you reached back and grabbed Jason’s hand. The nurse gave you a single nod and glanced over your shoulder at the three bikers outside before signaling you to follow her. You wove through the maze of hallways with tears in your eyes and you let out a choked laugh when you finally saw your baby girl.

“Oh, Avery.” You breathed as you walked quickly to her side. She barely blinked, still groggy from the anesthesia, but rolled her head toward the sound of your voice. “You’re OK, baby girl. Mommy’s here. Mommy’s right here, OK?” She let out a little whine as Jason grabbed both of you chairs and set them down at her bedside.

“Bet she’s gunna be really excited that she can eat ice cream for breakfast for a couple days.” He said with a small chuckle as he reached out to softly rub your back. You huffed a laugh and smiled as you ran your fingers through Avery’s curly brown hair.

“Ice cream and milkshakes for days.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Where is she?” Chibs voice called out down the hall at the nurses station. “Avery Lynn Telford, where’s m’child?” You sighed and glanced over at Jason with a shake of your head.

“Don’t engage no matter what he says.” He gave you the slightest nod as Avery’s hospital room door opened behind you.

“Wha’ ‘appened?” Chibs demanded as he walked quickly into the room.

“She had appendicitis.” You said softly so you didn’t wake up your daughter up. “Keep your voice down…”

“Bloody hell were you doing with ‘er…”

“Jesus Christ.” You said as you looked over at him. “What, you think I shoved dirt down her throat or something? She got sick, Filip. She’s a kid.”

“Yea, a kid that should ‘ave a roof ov’a ‘er head an’ not be livin’ on the damn streets like some piece of fuckin’ garbage.”

“Oh, fucking bite me.” You snapped as you flipped him off. “You lived that life for two years, too. You’re just pissed you don’t get to see her as much as you’d like. Look, you’re here as a fucking favor, I could have just as easily told you six months down the line that she had surgery. So if you’re sticking around, sit down, shut up, and be there for your daughter or get the fuck out. We clear?”

“Piss off, ye bloody gash.” He growled as he dragged a chair over to the end of the bed and flopped down on it hard.

“Fuck you.” You retorted as you glanced over your shoulder at Jax and Juice. “Boys.”

“Hey, (Y/N).” Juice said with a nod while Jax simply stared at you, blankly. “How is she?”

“Sleepin’ thankfully and outta pain.” He nodded his head, glanced up at Jason with a tight-lipped smile.

“I’m Juice.” He tried before Jax whacked his stomach, and Chibs gave him a death glare.

“Jason.” You rolled your eyes at the Sons and looked across the room at your friend with an apologetic smile.

“Mommy?” Avery said softly as she stirred the slightest bit. You sat up a little straighter beside her and smiled.

“I’m right here, baby.”

“‘ey, m’ lit’l luv.” Chibs said, sweetly as he jumped to his feet and moved his chair to the other side of the bed. “Daddy’s ‘ere, too.” She rolled her head the slightest bit to look over at him.

“You’re here?” She whispered as she searched his face.

“Course, I’m ‘ere, princess. You’re m’ lit’l girl.” She gave him a small smile, and tears welled in her eyes tired, closing eyes.

“You’ll still leave.” She whispered as her pain killers kicked back in again. “You always leave me.” Tears spilled from your eyes as you looked up at your ex.

“Sad that your own kid only knows ya for that.” You growled as you reached out to hold your daughter’s hand. He looked up at you angrily, but you could still see the hint of tears in his eyes.

“Text me when she leaves ‘ere.” He said as he got up from his chair. He looked down at his baby girl, and shook his head the slightest bit. “Then don’t ever fuckin’ call me again.” Your heart lurched in your chest as he leaned down, and kissed Avery’s forehead while Juice said his name behind you.

“Filip…” You tried as he pulled out his wallet, and grabbed every bit of cash he had on him. “That’s not what I want…”

“It’s what I want.” He said as he dropped the cash on the table, and walked out of the room. “I won’t let ‘er opinion’a me be pain for the rest’a ‘er life. Jus’ tell ‘er I’ll always luv ‘er.”

“Filip.” You repeated as you got up from your chair quickly and followed him to the door.

“Take ‘er ta Disney wit’ tha’ cash.” He said as he paused in the doorway and took one last look at his baby girl. “And take care’a my lit’l girl.”

“Filip, don’t do this.” You said as you followed him out the door with tears falling down your face. You looked up at Jax and shook your head. “Don’t let him do this…”

“It’s better this way, (Y/N).” Was all he said as he turned and followed your ex down the hallway.

“Filip…” You cried as Jason wrapped his arms around your waist loosely. “ Filip, don’t do this.” You grabbed Jason’s arms tightly as your ex pushed the elevator button and put his sunglasses on his face to hide his tears. “Filip, she’s your daughter!”

“Let him go, sweetheart.” Jason said softly as you covered your mouth with your hands and cried. “Give him time to really think about it.”

“But my baby…” You cried into your palms as you watched your daughter’s father walk into the elevator without a single look back. You instantly turned in Jason’s arms and burst into sobs as he rubbed your back and told the nurses you were fine.

“She has you, sweetheart.” He said as he carefully walked you back into the room and closed the door for some privacy. “She’ll always have her mom.”

“I didn’t want that.” You said as you shook your head and fisted his shirt in your palms. 

“I know, baby girl.” He whispered as he held you tightly. “It’s gunna be OK.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You should have been surprised to see two patched members of SAMTAZ sitting outside your RV when you brought Avery back from the hospital two days after her surgery but after what happened with Chibs at the hospital, you almost expected it. You pulled your truck up beside Jason’s and put it in park with a sigh.

“Can you just take her in to bed?” You asked with a glance over at Jason. He nodded and got out of the truck with a nod at the two bikers.

“(Y/N)?” The taller of the two asked as you put your sunglasses on top of your head and went over to unlock the front door for Jason and let Tink out.

“Yep.” You said with a nod as you held your door open and caught Tink by the collar before she could run at the men. They both took a hesitant step back before the taller man took a couple steps toward you.

“Chibs wanted us to pass this along.” He said as he reached into his kutte and pulled out a thick, manilla envelope. “Told us to let you know his number’s been changed, and you’re not welcome in Charming anymore. You will be stopped if you try.” You nodded your head and moved to stand on either side of your pit bull to hold her in place with your calves.

“He’s really doing this, ain’t he?” You sighed as you took the envelope from him.

“He don’t want his kid to grow up with that much hate in her heart.” The second guy said with a shrug. “I get it. Had to do the same thing to my baby mama when I was inside for ten years.” You nodded your head and looked in the envelop at the large stacks of cash, and a few folded up pieces of paper. You flipped the top closed again and closed your eyes to fight back your tears.

“Can you…” You tried, but your voice cracked a bit. You cleared your throat and shook your head as you dropped your sunglasses back down on your face. “Can you tell him we love him?” You asked as you folded your arms across your chest. “Tell him I’m sorry I drove him to make this choice and that I’m sorry for everything.” The two men nodded their heads as they got on their bikes and put on their sunglasses. Without another word, they started up their Harleys and pulled out of the RV park, leaving you alone in their dust. 

You let Tink go with your legs so she could go to the bathroom and called her back inside so you could figure out what Chibs sent with the money. You checked on Avery, who was peacefully sleeping in her bed, and helped Tink up onto her bed gently so she wouldn’t wake up before heading into your room, where Jason was watching the baseball game quietly and waiting for you.

“What’s that?” He asked as he shut off the TV and sat up a bit on the bed.

“Chibs’ good bye, I guess.” You climbed up on the bed and sat between his thighs with a heavy sigh. You dumped the contents on your lap and grabbed the papers first. You looked at Chibs, rough, scrolled handwriting and could see the couple spots that had been smeared by his tears. Your heart broke for him and you held out the letter so that your own tears wouldn’t smear the ink even more.

My darling Avery Lynn,

First and foremost, I need you to know that I have and always will love you with all of my heart. I know you may not believe that, but it is true. Unfortunately, your mother and I weren’t able to make things work out between us, but my leaving had nothing to do with you, princess.

You see, your father is a bad man. I’m a criminal, a liar, and a thief. I have done some inexcusable things in my life, and no matter how hard I tried to escape them to be the father that you deserve, I wasn’t able to. And I will always regret that. God, you have no bloody idea how much I will regret that shite because it meant losing one of the few good things life has given me.

That being said, I want what’s best for you, my precious little girl, and that means not having me in your life. All I have done is hurt you in the past two years, and I can’t live with myself for doing that to you. And I know that if I try to stay in your life from this point on, all I will do is continue to hurt you more. I don’t want to do that to you, baby girl. So I need to step away because right now, that’s the best thing I have to offer you.

I’m so sorry, Avery for all the pain I have caused you. I’m sorry that your memories of me are so negative. I’m sorry for putting you and your mother through such hell. I’m sorry that I couldn’t tell you all this in person, but I don’t think I’d be able to make it through if I did. I’m sorry that I won’t be there to watch you grow up into the beautiful woman I know you will be… but I know, in my heart, that it is better this way.

I love you, Avery. I will always love you, and not a day has or will go by that I don’t think of you. Be good for your mum for me, and give Tinkerbell an extra kiss each night for me, as well. 

‘May the Lord hold you in his hand, and may he never close his fist too tight.’

All my love,

Dad.

You set the two page letter aside and looked at the next page through your tears.

(Y/N),

To help you raise your daughter as you see fit, whether that be on the road, or settled down somewhere far, far away from me. Attached is a bank account in her name for a university fund that can’t be accessed by either of us until she’s eighteen. I’ll add more funds to it over time so you won’t need to, but it has enough in it for four years at a decent university as is in case something happens to me.

Thank you for giving me two beautiful years with her. I will cherish them until I die.

Filip.

Tears poured silently down your cheeks as you glanced at the bank account information before setting them all aside.

“I didn’t want this.” You cried as you shoved the money off your lap and curled into a ball against Jason’s chest.

“I know, baby.” He sighed as he wrapped his arms around you and brushed his calloused hands across your arm. He let you cry it out without a word until you had no tears left to shed.

“Bet this isn’t what you though you’d sign up for when you saved my kid from fire ants.” You joked half-heartedly as you brushed your fingertips across the triangle patterned tattoo on his arm.

“Honestly, I wouldn’t trade it for the world.” You looked up at him through your lashes and he shrugged his shoulder. “Hey, the past two weeks with you and Avery have been more full of more excitement than I have had in a long, long time. I’m following you guys around for a while, see what other kinds of fun I can get into. Plus, you promised me a Disney trip. I’m not passing that up for anything.” You smiled as he reached up to wipe the tears off your cheeks with his thumb.

“Well, you’re more than welcome to hang around for as long as you want.” You told him with a nod. “I’m absolutely not crazy enough kick your gorgeous body out of bed.”

“Wow.” He laughed as he tilted his head to see your face a little better. “Way to make me feel like just a piece of meat.” Your smile grew even more as you rolled onto your back so you could avoid his eyes for a moment.

“‘What can I say except you’re welcome’.” Your mocking singing was cut of with a laughed as he tickled your sides.

“God, you’re such a smart ass.” He laughed as he leaned forward to look down at you. You reached up and gently cupped his jaw in your hands.

“I make life fun, what can I say?”

“You don’t have to say anything more than that, baby girl.” He breathed as he let you bring his face down to yours. He kissed you gently with pillow soft lips and you smiled against them as he brushed his hands across your stomach. He pulled back to look at you with a smile as his long hair created a curtain around both your faces.

“Will you stay with us?” You whispered as you brushed your thumbs across his cheeks.

“For as long as you’ll have me, sweetheart.”


	7. Hard Road Ahead

“Hey y’all. It’s your girls.” You said with a giant smile as you sat at the end of the picnic table, looking up at your phone on your selfie stick to make sure everyone was in the shot. “And your guy… and Mamaw and Pop. We’re in Disney! Yay!”

“For my birthday!” Avery Lynn screamed as she tried to stand up on the bench to see herself more in the camera.

“No, on your butt.” Jason said beside her as he put his large hand on her shoulder to keep her in place. “Finish your breakfast, please.”

“So we got in late yesterday evening, just in time to catch the bonfire you saw before this introduction. We made s’mores, shared some Famous Amos cookies with Chip and Dale like y’all suggested, and watched ‘Bambi’ under the stars. But what I was really surprised about was this…” You shifted your camera the slightest bit to reveal a pile of boxes at your feet and laughed. “Y’all are crazy! The guy at the check in desk looked at me like I was insane with all the boxes y’all sent for Avery!”

“Thank you!” Your daughter shouted as she got up to climb on the table again to look at the camera.

“On your butt!” You and Jason said simultaneously.

“And yes, thank you.” You continued with a nod. “We’ll kinda do a weird mash up of videos over the next couple weeks ago to cover the parks, Avery’s birthday, opening the boxes, product reviews, and Disney tips that we learn and y’all have shared with us. We also have new RV decorations for Christmas this year… well, we will once we get into the parks to get them, that is.”

“Of course you’re going with Disney decorations.” Todd said behind you as Stacy simply held out her hand with a giant smile on her face.

“I told him you were upgrading your decorations this year.” She giggled as you adjusted the camera to catch the pay off behind you.

“So expect a lot of broken up videos in the next couple weeks! Alright, now just like I’m yelling at my kid ta do, I’m gunna finish my breakfast so we can go to Disney! Yay! Love ya!” You blew a kiss at the camera and turned off the video with a smile.

“Don’t you think that it’s getting a little dangerous?” Todd asked as you set your selfie stick across your lap and grabbed your coffee mug.

“What?”

“This… video thing you do. I get that you love it and all but… I don’t know. It just seems like you are asking for someone to come steal your home or your child…”

“What?” You laughed as you looked over at him. “Who the fuck’s gunna steal a kid?”

“Pedophiles. Pedophiles steal kids…”

“OK, ain’t no one gunna take my kid.” You said quickly before your daughter got upset. “And that’s why I have Tink. Who will rip someone’s arm off before she let them take her baby.”

“He has a point though.” Stacy chimed in from the end of the table as she poured herself some more coffee from the pot.

“Yea, but we’re being more careful, right?” Jason defended for you. “She took down the tracker, she doesn’t use city names, or name the RV parks until after we leave. Video’s are released after we leave a location…”

“This is the first place in a long time that we’ve have been that we could be followed too. And come on, it’s Disney. I highly doubt pedophiles are getting in ta Disney…”

“What’s a ped-pile?” Avery asked as she grabbed her empty cup and her silverware to put it in the outdoor wash bucket.

“Nothing you need ta worry your pretty little head about.” You told her as you grabbed both of your plates. “And it ain’t something Jason or Mamaw and Pop are gunna tell you about later, either so don’t ask. Go brush your teeth.”

“She has Jason now, Todd.” Stacy chimed in as you rinsed off your plate and set it on the drying rack. “I’m sure he’s perfectly capable of protecting them.”

“What, from his truck?” You paused with the empty platters that had previously held sausage patties, scrambled eggs, and bagels in your hands and cleared your throat as you glanced at the man next to you, that was suddenly very focused on scratching Tinkerbell’s head.

“Umm… well, he’s selling his truck.”

“He’s what?!”

“Let me help you with those, babe.” Jason said quickly as he jumped up to help you clear to avoid Stacy’s questioning.

“(Y/N) (Y/M/N)!”

“Avery! You better be brushing!” You yelled over Stacy with a glance over at your boyfriend.

“You two better not think that this is the end of this conversation.” Stacy chided as she came over to finish the dishes. “And you better not be pregnant again!”

“Jesus!” You laughed as you stopped in the doorway of your RV. “Not pregnant. Just a grown ass woman that wants to save gas… and water. You know… for the environment and shit.”

“Leave them alone, Stacy.” Todd called out as he gave Tinkerbell her breakfast before you took her for a short walk.

“No, hell no!” She said as she looked at your open door. “This is not over!”

——

No matter how much you wanted to, you didn’t spare more than a few seconds looking at the castle in front of you so you could watch the look on Avery’s face as she took it all in.

“What do you think, babe?” You asked as you glanced at your phone to make sure her adorable face was in the shot. Her mouth was open in a small ‘o’ and tears welled in her chocolate brown eyes as she tried to wrap her mind around her emotions. Just as Stacy stopped beside Jason to look up at her response, she started to cry.

“Hey, what?” Jason asked in a slight panic as he looked at the little girl in his arms.

“It’s so pretty.” She sobbed as she pointed at the castle. You huffed a laugh as she dropped her arm and fisted Jason’s Maui shirt in her hand.

“Are you OK?” You cooed as you reached out and rubbed her jean covered leg. She nodded her head and sniffled, but her eyes never left the castle.”You wanna stay here a bit longer, and look at it?” She nodded her head again before she laid it against Jason’s shoulder to just be in the moment like you had taught her her whole life.

“How cute!” Stacy said as she reached up to rub Avery’s back.

“She’s her mother’s daughter.” Jason laughed as you turned to take a couple pictures of the castle nd the Christmas decoration lined Main Street for your blog.

“She’s a child of nature. She’s learned to stop and appreciate the world around her. There’s no need to rush through life if you miss the little things.”

“You don’t have to preach to us.” Todd said as he waited with the rest of your group for Avery to get her fill. “We live on the road, too.”

“It’s moments like these where I’m glad I made the choice to raise her on the road.”

“Can we go closer?” Avery chimed in as she pushed off your boyfriend’s shoulder and wiggled to get down.

“We can do whatever you want, baby.” You told her as you reached down for her hand. “It’s your birthday week.” She held on to your hand tightly so she wouldn’t get lost and led you down Main Street through the thankfully thin, post Thanksgiving crowd. When you were close enough to see more detail, you stopped to take a few family photos to stick up on the walls of your home on wheels, before continuing on through the castle.

“Mommy!” Avery squealed with a laugh as she pointed at the carousel behind the castle.

“I see it, baby. Wanna ride?” She nodded her head and pulled you toward the line.

“Come all the way to Disney and she wants to ride the horses she could ride outside the grocery store.” Jason teased as you reached back and grabbed his hand.

“Shut up and get on the horse ride, J.” You laughed as you tugged him along after you.

——

“Mommy…” Avery whined as you sat down for lunch at the Be Our Guest restaurant. “I don’t feel good.”

“OK.” You said with a nod as you set your backpack down and grabbed the chair next to hers. “Do you feel sick, hot, or tired?”

“All it.” She huffed as she climbed over into your lap. You knew it was getting close to her usual nap time so you weren’t exactly surprised she was reaching her end, but you were slightly concerned that she was a little warm.

“Is she hot to you?” You asked Jason as you moved your daughter to straddle your lap, comfortably. Your boyfriend set all three of your drinks down on the table, wiped his hands off on his shorts, and felt Avery’s forehead.

“She’s hot but not feverish.” He said as he sat down facing you. “Take her jacket off. She’s had it on all day, and even though it’s a little chilly, that’s probably what’s making her heated.”

“See, I knew keeping the EMT around would be useful.” You teased as you pulled Avery back off your chest for a moment to unzip her jacket.

“Yea, that the only reason you’re keeping me around?” He joked as he pulled off Avery’s sneakers and traded them for a pair of sandals.

“No, I keep you around for the muscles, too.” You smirked over at him as he dropped Avery’s sneakers in your backpack.

“I knew it.” With a small giggle, you gave him a chaste kiss before he grabbed a cooling towel from the bag and ripped it open. “You don’t really love me.”

“Not at all.”

“She OK?” Todd asked as he set his and Stacy’s drinks down on the table.

“Nap time came early.” You said as you rubbed your daughter’s back, grateful that she wasn’t in full melt down mode yet. “And she’s a little hot.”

“I got it.” Jason said as he unzipped the towel’s bag and got up to get it wet at the small sink near the soda machines.

“We kinda planned on heading back home after lunch anyways for a nap so we are right on time.”

“I mean, y’all are here for nearly a month.” Todd pointed out as he grabbed the straws from your tray to open them and put them in your drinks for you. “So I’m pretty sure you are gunna make it through six theme parks in that time with long, daily nap breaks for us old folk.”

“Who you callin’ old?” Stacy laughed with you as you pulled your daughter’s hair into a messy bun so that it was out of the way.

“Apparently you and me are getting classified as old, Stace.”

“The only old person at this table is you, old man.” Your road mom giggled as she pushed her husband’s arm.

“The rest of us are spry chickens.” You agreed with a nod as Jason crouched down beside you and looked at Avery with a smile.

“Do you think we’re old, Avery Lynn?” He asked with a pout while he wrapped the towel loosely around her neck. She nodded her head, making your small group laugh as your lunch was brought over in a fancy, glass covered cart. “Want me to cut yours small?” She nodded her head again and moved part of the cooling towel so that it was between her cheek and your chest where her head was laying. “Alright, mini triangles it is.”

“Hey! You’re (Y/N)!” You looked over at the sound of your name just as you were reaching out to grab your souvenir drink cup that Avery insisted you get to match hers, and startled the slightest bit when you realized that the two girls in their early twenties were, in fact, talking to you. “O.M.G. We just LOVE your vlog.”

“Oh! Oh, thank you.” You breathed as you took a sip of your drink and went to set it back down on the table.

“See, I told you she’d come here first.” You startled the slightest bit when Jason set your and Avery’s shared plate down in front of you a little harder than he should of.

“What did you say?” He asked roughly as he looked up at the girls.

“Oh, we just made a bet on which park you guys would come to first for Avery’s birthday.” The one who had spoke to you said as she waved her hands with every word. “We live around here so and we figured you’d come sometime this week. Um… do you think we could maybe get a picture? No one’s gunna believe this…”

“Um…” You said as you looked over at Jason, wishing that he was on the other side of you and Avery. “I’m sorry, not right now. We just got our lunch and I’m with my family…”

“Oh, no worries.” The other girl said with a dismissive swipe of her hand. “We totally understand.” You smiled at her and nodded your head slowly, while taking a moment to figure out just what to say.

“Well thank you guys so much for watching every week. Sorry I’m such a Debby downer right now. I blame this Florida heat, you know?”

“Yea, totally. Well, we’ll let you eat. We really do love you! ‘K bye!” You raised your hand and gave a slight half wave before letting it drop on your lap.

“Switch spots with me.” Jason said the second they were out of ear shot as he stood up from his chair.

“Did that really just happen?” You asked as you held your daughter to your chest and scooted over a seat so you were between Jason and Todd.

“I told you that video thing wasn’t safe.” The latter sighed almost sarcastically. You looked over at him and the fry he was pointing at you with and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes at him as you handed your daughter part of the middle of the carved turkey sandwich the pair of you were splitting.

“Yea, because the two of them are so dangerous.”

“Shit’s still awkward as hell and I don’t like it.” Jason growled as he moved your drinks over and got himself set up in your old chair.

“Easy, papa bear. I’ll just go into slight witness protection in the parks. No big deal. I’m not here to worry about them, I’m here to celebrate my baby girl with my family. That’s all, how’s that sandwich, angel?” She looked up at you with pleased, tired eyes, and nodded.

“Can I dip more mustard?”

“You gotta turn around then, ‘cause I don’t want it down my shirt.” She nodded her head and handed you her half sandwich to turn around. “How lovely.”

“Such a generous child, right?” Stacy teased as she took a sip of her lemonade.

“Oh, so fucking generous.”

——

“So, um… do you think Todd is right?” Jason looked down at you as the two of you walked Tink back to your camp site after doing everything in your power to tucker her out for the evening.

“Sweetheart, you don’t really want me to answer that question.”

“No, but I do.” He sighed loudly and unscrewed the cap of his water bottle with a shake of his head.

“I do think he’s right.” You nodded your head as he took a swig of water and put the cap back. “Look, I have zero say on how you raise your daughter. I also have no place to come in to your life and tell you you need to change what you are doing. But I am going to point this one thing out and you can decide what you are gunna do with it. While I absolutely agree with the whole pedophile thing, which is why I brought it up last week when we found out you were pregnant again, and we figured out how to work with that, that’s not the only issue here.

Did you know that you didn’t pay attention to your daughter once during the Dumbo ride today? Not that that makes you bad parent, it just is what it is. You have a job to do and so you do it. But in the last couple months, you’ve let it consume you. You spent the entire ride replacing the batteries on your GoPro to get two seconds of footage you probably won’t use. And like I said, it’s your job and I understand that. And trust me, I am not trying to tell you not to do your job here. But I do have a concern that in eight months or nine months whatever it is, you’re gunna be so caught up with recording our lives for strangers that I’ll become a single parent, raising two kids in the life you wanted for them, while you watch them grow up through a camera lens.” You stopped walking, forcing him to stop on the dog path as well, as that reality sank in to your mind. Your hormones kicked in and you started to cry, which made him sigh once more.

“I’m a bad mom!”

“No, you’re not a bad mom.” He breathed as he wrapped you in a hug. “You’re an internet star.”

“And I’m a bad mom.”

“No, you’re not.” He repeated as he kissed the top of your head. “You’re a distracted mom. But we can change this situation, right? We can figure out a way to make both being mom and being an internet celebrity work again. And we’ll do it together, right?” You nodded your head against his chest and he leaned to the side to look at you. “You’re not a bad mom, baby. But the cameras are out of control. And Avery and I miss you.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. You didn’t realize it.” You nodded your head and reached between the two of you to wipe your tears away.

“I really have spent more time behind my camera lately, haven’t I?”

“Yea, you have.” You nodded your head and groaned as you turned to head back to your camp site when a thought came to you.

“We’re still not telling Todd and Stacy we’re pregnant, right?”

“Abso-fucking-lutely not. They would never let us hear the end of it after this morning.” With a smile and a nod, you reached out for his hand and let him lead you back to camp, where Todd had located and was pulling your inflatable Mickey and Minnie sitting around a campfire out of your Christmas box.

“What’s going on here?” You asked as you bent down and unclipped Tink’s leash so she could go and get some water.

“Your child is what’s going on.” He grumbled as he gently tossed the canvas off to the side between your two campsites where he was gunna blow it up. “She woke up from her nap, saw the decorations across the way, and demanded that we set ours up, too.”

“And you couldn’t tell her no, old man?” You laughed as you stole Jason’s water bottle and leaned against your truck.

“Yea, you try telling this puppy eyes no.” He huffed as he grabbed the next inflatable, Pluto and Goofy sledding down a snowy hill, and tossed it toward the first to get to the air pumps.

“It’s quite easy, actually.” You giggled as you pushed off the truck to find your daughter, who was probably setting up ‘her’ tree in her bedroom with Stacy. “One syllable, two letters…”

“Get inside before I throw this air pump at you.” He laughed as you gently pushed Jason in front of you.

“Looks like we’re not going back to the park tonight.” He pointed out as he pulled open the door for you.

“Oh well. I don’t have a dinner reservation for tonight so we can just make something here and go to the pool. Come on, Tink.”

“Mommy! Look, the tree!”

“Did you set it up without me?” You pouted as you reached for your GoPro before deciding you didn’t want it, which made Jason smile behind your back.

“Well, I wanted ta wait.” She said as she carefully picked one of your fifty plus Disney ornaments from the organizer box. “But I gots excited.”

“Well I think I can forgive you this time.” You told her as you sat down on her bed and pointed at Jason in the doorway. “But we have to share with Jason, too.”

“You have to be super, super careful.” She said as she carried an antique Peter Pan ornament over to your boyfriend with both hands as you picked up a Pluto ornament you had found in a thrift store years ago to hang up. “Mommy’s had them a long, long time. I’ll help you.”

“How about… I get the tall ones.” He compromised as he put the ornament on one of the higher branches of your five foot tall, fake, white tree. “And you help Mommy with the lower ones. She looks like she could use a hand.” Avery whipped around to look at you, and you nodded your head with your eyebrow raised.

“I can’t do it by myself. What if I put the wrong princess near the wrong prince. That would just be a disaster.”

“I’m gunna go help Todd.” Stacy said softly as she scooted past Jason with a giant smile on her face.

“Mama, here.” She said as she stood on her tiptoes and pointed to a spot on the tree.

“Alright, Pluto’s going there.”

“Well now I don’t wanna put the wrong princes and princesses together.” Jason said as he crouched down next to the ornament box. “You gotta help me too, munchkin.” She sighed loudly and tossed her hands up in the air.

“So I gotta do all the work here?”

“Oh, Ms. Drama Queen!” You laughed as you kissed her cheek. “Go pick out the next ornaments, ma’am so we can get the lights up outside.”


	8. Hard Road Ahead

“So we have a lot of choices here.” You said to Avery as you walked into Epcot on the fourth day of your vacation. “Wanna look at the map and h… Hey, are you listening to me?” You laughed as you stopped and looked down at your daughter, who was staring at the giant fountain behind the Epcot ball.

“So it looks like we’re watching the fountain for a while.” Jason laughed as you picked up Avery to sit on a shady bench for a while. “You want coffee? There’s a Starbucks over there.”

“No, I had a cup already but I will do one of those strawberry frappes with extra chocolate drizzle. And a small one of those vanilla chocolate ones for her.” He nodded his head as Stacy whipped around with a giant scowl on her face.

“You’re pregnant, aren’t you?”

“Not pregnant.”

“You are the worst fucking liar in the whole world!”

“Hey!” You laughed as you sat down and put Avery on your lap. “Language in Disney World!”

“No, you didn’t get on Space Mountain or Big Thunder Railroad, you are passing up on freaking coffee, and you passed up my orange juice this morning, which you never do except when you were pregnant with Avery. You’re pregnant again.”

“Not pregnant.” You repeated as you looked up at Jason, who hadn’t moved at all to head to Starbucks. He smirked at you and handed you the backpack so he wouldn’t have to stand in line with it.

“You should just fess up now.” Todd sighed as he sat down beside you and propped his foot up on the stroller he was pushing for you to put some Icy Hot on his sore knee. “It’ll be a lot easier, you know this.”

“I…”

“She’s pregnant.” Jason said with a shrug before he jumped out of your reach.

“You’re an asshole.” You teased as Stacy cheered beside you. You laughed as Jason turned and simply walked away to hide his own laugh.

“Why would you keep that from me?” Stacy asked as she stood up to grab her bottle of water from the stroller cup holder.

“We just chose to wait this time.” You said honestly with a shrug. “Nothing against you, we just… it’s complicated.” She cocked her eyebrow and you looked pointedly as the back of Avery’s head. “We’re trying to figure out the best wording for it. After the whole C-h-i-b-s issue, we don’t want her to get hurt by the new b-a-b-y having a present d-a-d-d-y… and then I have to worry about J-a-s-o-n running off on them…” She shushed you softly and pat your arm with a nod.

“I understand. Sorry I pushed.”

“Why the hell do you always order the cold drinks?” Jason said as he came over with your and Avery’s drinks in one hand and a tray of three black coffees in the other.

“That was really fast. Here, Avery. Take your drink.”

“Her teeth are gunna rot outta her head.” Todd said as he took his coffee.

“Hush.” You scolded before taking a sip of your drink. “Alright. We gotta figure out where we’re going, miss thing. We gunna go see Nemo first? Or do you wanna go ride the garden ride or we can see the garden…”

“I wanna go ta France.” She said as she carefully slid off your lap with her Starbucks in one hand so she could grab her Barbie sunglasses out of her cup holder. “See where Jason went ta school.”

“OK, well I didn’t go to school in Disney World.” Jason laughed as he put your backpack in the stroller and popped the wheel locks. “But we can go to France if that’s what you want.” She nodded her head and put on her sunglasses almost dramatically, making you shake your head.

“I really hope we have a boy next.” You huffed. “I got enough sass to handle with this one.”

——

“How are we gunna tell her?” You asked Jason as the two of you laid in bed later that night.

“Well… we could just tell her flat out…”

“No, I can’t.” You sighed as you rolled on to your side to face him. “I mean I can but there’s so much more here…”

“You’re worried about your ex.” He said point blank as he put his hand on your back and pulled you closer. “You’re worried that she’s going to hate her brother and sister because I’m here…”

“I’m worried she’s gunna think I replaced her because you’re here. I’m worried that she’s gunna resent you for being a better dad than Chibs was.”

“You know I could adopt her. And we could get married in the same swing.”

“No, you are not fucking proposing while we are at Disney but laying in our stupid bed. Try again. Take it back.”

“I take it back.” He laughed as he pulled you even closer. “But I can adopt her…”

“Jason, you have been around us for six months…”

“And I have been in your bed every night for five and a half months of that. I have also been with you every single day for those six months, and I love both you and Avery with every centimeter of my heart. So marrying you, adopting her, and being a father to our children would make me the happiest and luckiest man in the world.”

“You know people are gunna think we’re crazy…”

“Fuck ‘em.”

“We’re gunna have to find a place to stay still for a while…”

“I can find a stable job as an EMT and save up some money for all of us. Maybe a house?”

“Not yet.” You said with a shake of your head. “I love the road to much.”

“So we find seasonal gigs while we go through the adoption process. Summer, I can do EMT shit for a white water rafting company, and in the winter, I can go to a ski lodge or something. That’s what Ben and Dave are doing right now out in Colorado. You can set up your crystal shop somewhere semi-permeant, and we could put the kids in day programs so they can get acclimated to other kids and school.”

“You have put an awful lot of thought into this.”

“Since the day I saw those double lines. I know you don’t want to leave the road, I know I have to figure out a way to support my family, and I know I had to figure out everything before I could bring it up to you because I know asking you to park the Palace for any length of time over a month is asking a lot.”

“Jason, do you understand what you are asking here?”

“That I want the little angel I already consider a step-daughter to be all mine because I am selfish? Yes, I know what I’m asking, (Y/N). I’ve spent over two weeks talking to my mom, my dad, and my grandma for hours on end while we drive to figure out my feelings to make sure I wasn’t projecting or rushing into anything because it’s not just you and me here. It’s you, and your daughter, and even Tink. It’s us, and it’s them. It’s our mixed family that I wouldn’t trade for the world. And I will also say this- I know that the one thought running through your head right now is that I’m gunna run when shit gets hard. But unlike your ex, I have zero intention of walking out on my children. And yes, I say children because I won’t walk out on Avery either even if we do break up. We’ll figure out how to co-parent together, on the road or in semi-set locations or whatever works out for us where both of our kids have both of their parents and both of us know that our babies are safe, and loved, and cared for the way they deserve.”

“You know I don’t deserve you.” You sighed as you reached up and laid your hand on his cheek. “Avery does… but I sure as hell don’t.”

“Well good thing you’re wrong in that thinking, baby. Wrong, wrong, wrong.”

“Yea, so you say…”

“So I know, baby.” He replied as he pulled you closer and hugged you tightly. “So I…”

“Mommy?” You startled, pulled back, and sat up to look over Jason at Avery and Tink in the doorway.

“What’s wrong, Avery?”

“I had a scary dream.” She cried as she burst into tears, which made Tink start to whine beside her as she nudged her forward toward you with her head.

“Oh, come here angel.” You cooed as Jason flipped on the light above his head so she could see. He scooted back as far as he could and pat the bed by his feet for Tink as you picked up your baby girl and laid her down on the bed. “Shhh, it’s all OK now, my love. Mommy’s here.” She nodded and curled into your chest as you ran your fingers through her soft brunette curls. Jason laid down behind her and started very gently singing ‘How Far I’ll Go’ from Moana, which made her reach back to search for his hand for more comfort. You shot him a smile and blew him a kiss as you both got Avery settled in for the night between you.

“Love you.” You mouthed as he reached up to turn off the light. He nodded his head in response and shot you a wink but kept singing to help lull Avery back to sleep as the four of you got comfortable for the night. You waited until you were sure Avery was asleep, before sliding your hand down her side until your pinkie found his hand.

“If she’s OK with it.” You whispered as you searched his eyes in the dark room. “Then you can adopt her. But only if she wants it.”

“Sounds like the perfect plan.” He whispered back with an award winning smile as he gripped your pinkie with his thumb on Avery’s side. “Love you.”

“Love you more.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You weren’t quite sure that Avery completely understood what was going on as she sat beside you on the couch, trying to wrap her mind around the news you had dropped on her a couple days before Christmas. She had a pensive look on her face, the same one her father got when you want on Disney tangents and he was doing his best to keep up with your scattered thought process.

“Do I have ta get another Mommy if I get a new Daddy?”

“No!” You said quickly as you shook your head frantically. “No, baby. I will always be your Mommy. But Jason loves you so much, he wants to be your Daddy…”

“Then he leaves?” You sighed and glanced up at your boyfriend on the couch behind her, and Stacy and Todd in the kitchen behind him with a shake of your head as you tried to figure out how to word this for a four year old to understand.

“Avery, your dad was a very complicated man. He loved you very much, but he loved being a bad guy, too. And he had to make a choice- being with you or being bad. And he made the wrong choice and decided to be bad. That is not your fault, angel. That’s his fault. He didn’t know how to be a good Daddy, but Jason does. And he wants to show you that he can be the good Daddy you should have. He’s not gunna leave like your dad did.”

“Because you gots a baby in your belly.”

“Not just because of the baby.” Jason said quickly. “I wanna stay because I want to be here with you and Mommy. I wanna stay because I love you so, so much and I wanna be the only Daddy that loves you forever and ever.”

“Like Thomas O’Malley.” You pointed out.

“The alley cat.”

“Yep.” You nodded, grateful that Disney had at least one positive step parent to use. “He fell in love with Marie and Toulouse and Berlioz and wanted to be their Daddy even though he wasn’t there when the kitties were born. He adopted them the same way Jason wants to adopt you. And I don’t think Thomas O’Malley would ever leave Duchess and the kitties, do you?” She shook her head and looked over at Jason as tears started to pool in her eyes.

“Promise?”

“I promise, Avery.” He said softly as he easily picked her up and pulled her in for a hug. “I promise, I will never leave you.”

“You can be my Daddy…” She cried as she held on to his neck, buried her face in his throat, and started to sob. You sighed in relief and sank back into the couch while he turned on the lounge and simply held his little girl.

“Went a lot better than I expected it.” Todd said as he grabbed his cup of coffee to head back to his campsite since he and Stacy were packing up to leave Fort Wilderness early in the morning to spend Christmas with their daughter and son-in-law, Carol and Mike and their grandkids.

“Good night, you guys. We’ll see you for breakfast before we leave.”

“Night you guys. Thanks for the back up.” She nodded her head and scratched Tink’s head on her way out the door. You smiled at her and waved as you got up to grab your laptop. Jason cocked his eyebrow at you as you pulled up your camera, but you didn’t look over at him as you made a choice that would change your life forever.

“What are you doing?”

“Hush.” You said as you pulled up your Instagram. You glanced over at him and shrugged. “It’s time for our family to move on.” He nodded his head, agreeing with your final decision since you had gone over the pros and cons with him every night for weeks. You stared at the ‘live’ button for a few moments before biting the bullet and clicking on it.

“Hey y’all. It’s your girl, checking in. So normally, I would be a lot more organized with an announcement like this but the past couple weeks have pointed out some things that are going on in my life that I’m just no longer comfortable with.” Hearts and comments started to flood your screen and you ran your fingers through your hair as you crossed your legs on the couch.

“There’s no easy way to say this, y’all. But I think that it’s time for me to step back from social media for a while. I originally started this journey on the road to travel and enjoy mother nature and the country I call home but I have gotten to the point that I spend more time with a camera in my hand than being present with my daughter and with Jason. And I realized that I was missing out on spending time with my family which, at the end of the day, is the most important thing in the world. Especially since Jason and I are expecting our second child.

You know, I’ve spend the last two weeks in Disney, watching my four year old explore and laugh, and experience the Happiest Place in the Earth, and I realized I actually missed her bubbly personality. I missed her smile and I missed that twinkle of wonder in her eyes. I missed holding her hand as we went for walks, and watching her use all her strength to open water bottles because she loves doing that for whatever reason. I miss all of that and I live with her in an 8 by 42 foot RV with a camera permanently attached to my hand. And I can’t do that anymore.

I can’t and I won’t miss anymore of her life or any of my second child’s life anymore. I’m sorry, I can’t. My children are my life and if I have to choose between giving up anymore moments with them or keeping up with a life that is consuming every moment of my time with them… well, that’s an easy call to make. So I just want to say thank you. Thank you all so much for following this path with me for as long as you have.

Thank you for all the love and support you have given me and my family, in good times and in bad. Thank you so, so much for everything. I will keep my blog going and I will update it once a week like usual. The shop will still be open and I will start shipping again in the New Year. But weekly videos and daily Instagram updates won’t happen as much anymore. So that bein’ said, I hope y’all have a Happy Holiday and a great New Year. I will spend mine with my family, and without a camera for the first time in a long, long time. Love y’all.” You could feel Jason staring at you as you waved at the camera and ended the live video. With a loud sigh, you looked over at him as you pulled your laptop screen closed.

“You OK?” You nodded and set your computer to the side so you could gently fall into his side.

“I feel a little empty.”

“It was a big step.” He said as he rubbed you arm and Avery’s back softly. “You didn’t have to…”

“I needed to.” You interrupted as you put one hand on his on Avery’s back, and the other on your small bump. “I won’t miss anymore of our lives.”

“Well, you wanna go to our room and watch a movie before bed?” He glanced at you before looking down at Avery’s splotchy, tear stained face. She nodded her head and tightened her grip to be carried. “How ‘bout ‘Aristocats’. We haven’t watched that one in a while.”

“Yea.” She said with a small hiccup.

“Sounds perfect.” You agreed as you pushed yourself up. “Come on, Tink. Let’s go to bed.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Mommy, I play in the snow?” Avery asked as you drove through the mountains in Watauga County, North Carolina toward your hometown for the next few months.

“Not yet, baby. We have to get you a new snow coat and bigger boots first.”

“Aww, man…”

“When were you here last?” Jason asked as he looked over at you.

“Ten years.” You sighed as your grip tightened the slightest bit on the steering wheel. “I have a mailbox here so I swing through when I’m on this coast… but that’s once a year for twenty minutes, maybe.” He nodded his head glanced out the window at the gorgeous snow covered landscape.

“Is your sister still here?”

“Far as I know.”

“You gunna call her?” You huffed and turned down Campground Road toward your new temporary home.

“I don’t even have her number to call her. I haven’t spoken to her since I was six.”

“I’m sorry.” He said softly as he reached across the middle and squeezed your thigh. “Here, I got it.” You nodded your head and put your truck in park so you could grab your Thousand Trails ID card from your wallet for him. He took a deep breath, jumped out of the car, and yelled loudly since none of you were really prepared clothing wise for the currently 20 degree weather.

“Daddy’s funny.” Avery laughed behind you as she cleaned up her spot.

“Yea, he really is.” You agreed as you turned around to look at her. “You ready for all this cold?”

“Can we make Olaf?”

“You can ask Daddy if he wants to make Olaf.” You laughed with a nod. “Because Mommy and Tinkerbell are gunna be nice and toasty warm in front of the fireplace.”

“Holy shit!” Jason shouted as he left into your truck as fast as he could. “It’s freaking cold.”

“Daddy, we make Olaf?” Avery asked immediately as you took the map from Jason to see where your campsite was.

“Five, over there. How about we make Olaf tomorrow, OK? We all have a lot to do today and we probably won’t be done until night time.”

“But I wanna make Olaf today!” She whined as you pulled down the first snow covered gravel road.

“Hey. Whining about it isn’t gunna get you your way.” She pouted at him as he blew hot air into his palms when you pulled past your spot to back in.

“You wanna back it in?” You asked as he grabbed your walkie talkies from the glove compartment and turned them both on.

“No, you’re better at it.” He sighed as he reached over and clipped your walkie to your visor. “Shit. Alright, let’s do this.”

“Have fun.” You teased as he jumped out of the car and jogged back to your site.

“Mommy, build Olaf!”

“Avery Lynn, I am not gunna tell you again.” Her pout turned into tears as Jason’s voice crackled across the walkie above your head. You put your truck into reverse and forced yourself to ignore your daughter’s whining so you could maneuver your RV between the water/electric/ sewer hook up and the wooden platform that would be your ‘front porch’. “Avery!” You screamed over Jason’s yelling when you nearly hit the water spigot. “Please, stop!”

“No!”

“Oh, I’m about to pull this car over and make you stop, you hear me?” You looked back at her for a half second as you put your car in drive and shook your head. “What the hell has gotten into you?”

“You’re mean!”

“Yea, I know.” You sighed as you straightened out and started backing up again.

“You’re good, come straight back.” You put your foot down a little faster because you could hear his teeth chattering and a few seconds after he told you you were good, he jumped into the passenger seat to get warm.

“I’m mean.” You said as you grabbed your iPad. He looked over at you with his eyebrow raised before looking back at Avery, who was still crying in the back seat.

“You keep being mean over not getting your way today, and you won’t be building Olaf tomorrow, either.” Her tears started to fall harder as she unbuckled her seatbelt and glared at him.

“You’re mean!!”

“And you are going to time out.” You said as you turned off your truck.

“Mommy, no!” She screamed as you got out of the car and shut the door. You shook your head and grabbed some wood two by fours to put under the stabilizers.

“What the hell did I miss?” Jason asked as he helped Tink out of the back seat.

“Nap time, maybe?” You sighed as you got to work. “No fucking idea. She’s just being a brat to be a brat, apparently.” Your daughter scream cried even harder from inside the truck as Jason caught two wood boards for his side and went over to let your pit bull into the RV.

“Avery Lynn! Get out of the truck and get inside, now!” Jason hollered as you passed him the iPad so you could hook up the utilities. You shook your head as her screams got even louder when she got out to go inside. You and Jason both choose to ignore her as he came around to give you a hand.

“I warned you.” You said when she slammed the door and stormed back to her room.

“Warned me what?” He asked as he walked past you to turn off the generator.

“I warned you that some weeks she is an angel and others she is the Devil reincarnate.”

“I still want her.” He said as he opened the pass through storage container and grabbed the sewer hose, the hose support, and some gloves. “Even when she’s being a brat.”

“Well you can have her.” You laughed as you switched spots with him so you could unhook the RV from your truck so you could leave to go shopping. “I don’t want her right now.”

“You’re mean.” He teased in a high pitched voice, which made you smirk at his back.

“Gunna punish me for it?”

“Hey, we got shit to do today, mama.” He laughed as you checked the iPad once more to make sure everything was level and up and running. “We don’t have time for your kinky ass.”

“I don’t know what you are talking about.” You claimed with an innocent smile as the freezing temperature started to seep into your bones. “Goddamn it, I am now remembering why I avoid the north in the Winter.”

“I know, this is ridiculous.” You nodded in agreement as you ran up to your truck, pulled it away from your RV, and jumped out to run inside to open the slides.

“Avery? You done pouting?” You asked as you held down the button to open the slide that had your fridge and Avery’s toy chest. She ‘humphed’ from her room and Tink thumped her tail where she was laying the the doorway to the back bedroom/ former garage of your home. “So does that mean you don’t wanna go to Once Upon a Child with Mommy to get new clothes?” You waited to hear her second ‘humph’, which never came as you held the button down to slide out your kitchen and the couch. “You gunna come out to go shopping with Mommy and Daddy?”

“Fine.” You smirked and headed in to your room to open the last slide as Jason came in, looking a little blue.

“Cold, baby?”

“Fucking frozen.” He growled as he turned on the heater and cranked it up. “Why couldn’t you call somewhere hot your home town, huh?”

“Because there’s no fun in that.”

“Hey… you done being grouchy?” Jason asked as he crouched down in front of Avery. She shook her head but he held up his hands and showed her his fingers. “Feel how cold I am.” He started as he touched his fingertips to her warm cheek. “And I was only outside for a few minutes with Mommy. Now, what do you think you’ll be if you go out and build a snowman right now? You’ll be even colder than I am because you’re still little. And you agreed yesterday when we went through all your old clothes that you needed bigger clothes and gloves and a warm jacket so you could play in the snow. And we have to get Mommy and the baby warm clothes, too, don’t we? We don’t want your brother or sister to get too cold out there while we build Olaf, right?” She shook her head slowly and sniffled as she reached out to feel his fingers. “So I think you owe Mommy and me an apology for all the attitude and the yelling.”

“Sowwy.”

“Sorry for what?” You asked her ask you came out of your bathroom and crouched down beside your boyfriend.

“Sowwy for being mean an’ yellin’.”

“Thank you, baby.” You said gently as you held out your arms for a hug. She stumbled forward and crashed into your chest to hug you tight. You sighed and kissed her temple before she pulled back to hug Jason as well. “Alright, let’s go get your old clothes to donate them. We got a lot to do today.”

——

“Avery, come here please.” Jason said softly as the three of you sat in a family lawyers office, waiting for him to finish looking over the first of what you assumed had to be many rounds of paperwork. Your daughter pulled her hand back from the book shelf and the ship in a bottle she had been reaching for and whipped around before running over to her daddy with a small giggle.

“So you live in an RV.” The attorney, Adam Black, clarified as he flipped to the next page.

“Yes, we do.” You said with a nod as you sat up in your chair a bit more. “But I’ve been a resident of the state of North Carolina my entire life.”

“Is your RV permanently parked here?”

“Presently, it is. And it will be until the adoption is finalized.”

“Are you two married?” He asked without a glance up.

“Not yet.” Jason said as he shifted Avery on his lap so she was comfortable and gave her his cell phone to play with. “But it is the plan once our second child is born.”

“Is the child’s father in North Carolina as well?”

“No. He lives in California and has chosen to terminate his rights.”

“Do you have the paperwork for that?” You bit your lip and shook your head as you glanced over at Jason.

“I suppose a hand written letter won’t work in this instance.” You joked as you looked back at Adam. He looked up with his eyebrows raised and your smile fell the slightest bit. “No, no I don’t have paperwork for that.”

“OK, we can serve him with papers…”

“He won’t sign them.” You and Jason said at the same time.

“And there’s a good chance he’s in prison. He’s… well he’s…” You gave your lawyer a tight lipped smile and glanced over at your daughter, who was playing an alphabet puzzle game, peacefully.

“How long has it been since he’s had contact with her?”

“Um… six months? A week or two after 4th of July.”

“OK.” Adam said with a nod as he let your application fall closed and folded his hands on top of it. “So at first glance, I see a couple issues here that the courts will have a problem with. One, you two are not married, and you’ve only known each other for six months…”

“But he’s already the father of my second child.”

“And that does work to your advantage.” Adam said as he held up his hand toward you for a moment. “But it’s still an issue the judge is going to point out. And I’m not saying to rush into marriage here. That’s not gunna look good. And I’ve seen stepparent adoptions be approved in similar situations in the past so don’t get discouraged. But your bigger problem here is going to be your daughter’s biological father.”

“Wait… why is he a problem?”

“Because like it or not, hand written note or not, he has the option of fighting for his child. He still has the option of filing for custody, he can still demand visitation. He can refuse to sign over his rights and refuse to sign for the adoption. He could follow you on the road, and he could impede the process for weeks, months, or even years. However, if he doesn’t do any of those things and he refuses to sign, you still have to wait at least six months before we can even begin to figure out terminating his rights and that can get very expensive.”

“Jesus Christ.”

“What papers does he need to sign?” You asked as you sat forward in your seat.

“Just an adoption consent form.” He said as he turned toward his computer. “It has to be notarized.”

“That’s fine.” You said with a determined nod. “I’ll get it signed.” Jason looked over at you with his eyebrow raised and you sighed and searched his eyes. “I’m sure I can find a flight and fly to California and back in a day, right?”


	9. Hard Road Ahead

Getting out of your rental car in the Teller Morrow was an absolutely nerve wracking experience. You knew you weren’t welcome, but you knew your daughter was worth risking your life for. His bike, which once lived in your garage, was parked along the rail beside the others, and the sight of it for the first time in two years made a knot form in the pit of your stomach. With a heavy sigh at the sound of his laugh, you pulled the consent form from your purse and headed up toward the garage to find him. The garage got silent as you walked up to the bay door and took off your sunglasses.

“Hello Filip.” Your ex turned toward you slowly and set the tool in his hand down.

“She a’righ’?”

“She’s in Charlotte…” You said softly with a bob of your head. He nodded and grabbed a rag to wipe off his hands as he walked toward you.

“Wha’ are ye doin’ ‘ere, (Y/N)?”

“I need you to sign these.” He paused beside you and took the papers from your hand as he looked down at your seventeen and a half week along bump.

“Ye moved fast.” He commented, snidely as he pulled his reading glasses from his kutte pocket.

“Please just come with me to get these notarized.” You begged as you put your hand over your stomach, protectively. “I have a flight to catch.”

“An’ if I say no?”

“You wouldn’t do that to her.” He looked away from the consent papers and up at you to search your eyes. “He’s really good to her. And she loves him…”

“Le’s just do this.” You nodded your head and turned back toward the rental with a pained sigh. You got in the drivers seat and pulled out of the lot under the watchful eye of his brothers as he looked out the passenger window. “She ‘ave fun in Disney?”

“She loved it. We were there for almost a month.”

“I saw.” He said, curtly. “The guys still follow ye and ‘er.”

“She loved the Small World ride. And she rode the Safari ride at least a dozen times with Todd to see the giraffes. We had to buy her a stuffed animal one after it.”

“Were ye able ta do much in yer… condition.”

“I did most things.” You said with a glance over at him as you headed to his lawyer near the clubhouse. “But the ones I couldn’t do, she couldn’t either so I stayed with her while Jason rode those by himself or with Todd and Stacy.” He nodded his head and didn’t say anything else as he looked at the papers in his hand.

“This wha’ she wants?” He asked when you pulled into the parking lot. Tears welled in your eyes as you looked over at him.

“She just wants a dad that won’t leave… the same dad her sister has.” Without a word, he got out of the car and headed inside to find his attorney so the documents were official. A few tears fell from your eyes as you got out of the car and followed him inside so you could fill in the blanks wherever they would be. You had never seen your ex so stoic and silent as he listened to Allie Lowen explain not only the North Carolina consent form, but the California version as well just to be on the safe side. You sat beside him and cried silently, hating that this is what your relationship had come down to. You hated that you were permanently taking his daughter out of his life, like it or not, even if it was what was best for your daughter.

“It’s OK, luv.” Chibs said softly as he reached out to hold your hand when Lowen got up to make copies of the consent forms and to fax copies to your lawyer back home. You shook your head and covered your face with your free hand, which made him scoot his chair over to put his arm around your shoulders. “It’s a’righ’, m’luv. Yer doin’ wha’ I told ye ta do. Yer movin’ on an’ yer raisin our lit’l girl in a much ‘appier ‘ome. Look a’ ‘er smile, luv… look a’ it.” You sniffled and looked up at the phone in his hand and a screen shotted picture from your Instagram of Avery in midair with the blurred castle behind her; a photo that you were super proud of and that nearly gave Jason a concussion by the time you got the perfect one.

“She loved being tossed.” You sniffled as you reached out and grabbed a tissue from the box on the desk. “She hated coming down. She’d flail every time and Jason got kicked and hit in the head so many times, I thought we were gunna have to take him to the ER for a concussion.”

“She’s got ‘er moth’a spirit.” He chuckled as he looked at the photo himself. “An’ she looks happier than I could ev’a make ‘er. Which is why I know yer doin’ the right thing ‘ere.” You nodded your head and looked over at him with a weak smile.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” You nodded your head and reached up to wipe your tears away. He chuckled and shook his head as he reached out to help. “Ye know, ’s’well as I do ye shouldn’t wear yer makeup when yer pregnant. Ye cry at the damn puppy commercials…”

“They’re so sad!” You whined as he wiped away the mascara streaks with his thumb.

“Yea, an’ ye torture yerself by watchin’ ‘em.” You rolled your eyes and huffed as he sat back in his chair with a smile.

“You look away from those poor babies, Filip. It is not that easy.”

“’T’is.” He chuckled with a nod. “Ye jus’ ‘it the button.”

“No, you hit the button.” You sighed as you tossed your tissue out. “I sit there and cry.”

“Aye.” He chuckled as Lowen came back into the room with the original consent forms and some copies in her hand. “And ye only bring it on yerself.”

“So the paperwork has been sent to your lawyer, and I’m going to seal these in a manilla envelope for you to take back. I have a set of original copies for Chibs…”

“What are your fees?” You asked as you leaned slightly to the side and grabbed your purse.

“Oh no, ye don’…”

“Filip, stop it.” You barked as you whacked his hand with your wallet. “How much?”

“Twelve hundred…”

“(Y/N), stop it.” Filip said as he pulled the cash out of your hand and held it out of your reach. “I’ve got it.” You scowled at him as you took the envelope from the lawyer and held out your hand for your money.

“I hate you.”

“I’ll give it ta ye when I drop ye off a’ the airport.”

“Whatever. Thank you.”

“It was good seeing you again, (Y/N).”

“You too, Ally.” You got up and looked over at your ex as he held out his hand.

“Keys.”

“Just because I’m pregnant, doesn’t mean I can’t drive.”

“Oh, I know ye can.” He said as he took the keys and put his hand on the small of your back to guide you out of the office. “I jus’ really enjoy pissin’ ye off.”

——

You were actually grateful to be cold as you stepped out of the Charlotte airport into the late January chill with no jacket, in the same outfit you had left in the day before. Your massive pick up was already waiting for you at the curb and just the sight of it, knowing that your family was toasty warm inside, made you smile. So without any hesitation, you changed directions and walked as quickly as your pregnant body would allow to get to them.

“Mommy!”

“Hi baby!” You cooed as you pulled yourself into the passenger seat. “I missed you!”

“Mommy, guess what!” You leaned over the middle console and kissed Jason’s cheek as he tensely pulled into traffic. You put your hand on his thigh, reassuringly, and turned around in your seat with wide, excited eyes.

“What?!”

“Mommy… I had sprinkle waffles!”

“You did?! No way! Were they good?” She hummed and nodded her head as you reached back to pet Tink, who was patiently waiting for her love.

“And Daddy let me jump on the home-tel bed!”

“How fun!”

“Yea! And we even got pizza for dinner! And Tinkerbell ate all my crusts!”

“Oh, she’s a little stinker.” You giggled as you turned back around in your chair and put your seatbelt on.

“Did he sign?” Jason practically growled as his grip tightened on the steering wheel.

“He signed. Our lawyer already got the papers and just needs the original copies, which I have. She’s yours, Jason.” Your boyfriend physically relaxed and let out a long sigh as you pulled his hand over and placed it on your bump. “You have all your girls right here.” He smiled broadly and brushed his thumb across his growing daughter, and you smiled as you pushed his palm down. He jumped and looked over at you when he felt the subtle bump back and you thought he was going to crash the car in his excitement.

“I felt it with my fingers on the plane this morning.” You said with a nod as you moved his hand a little bit and did it again. “But it was only a matter of time before you could feel it because she moves so damn much already.”

“She takes after her sister.” He chuckled as he looked over at you. “I’m glad you’re both home safe.”

“Me too.” You sighed as you got comfortable in your seat for the two hour drive back to your house. “Do you know how many random women came up to me to rub my stomach? I wanted to start punching people.”

“We don’t hit people.” He laughed as he glanced back at Avery to see if she had lost interest in the adult conversation and gone back to her show, which she had. “Especially when you’re pregnant.”

“Then they shouldn’t touch random people’s bellies. Unacceptable behavior. You know what we also don’t do?” You asked as you rolled your head and looked over at him with your eyebrow cocked. “We don’t let the four year old jump on the bed.”

“Yea, I had other things on my mind, baby girl. Like my pregnant girlfriend and my daughter being completely across the country trying to get paperwork signed so I can legally call my other daughter mine.”

“J, you’ve been stressing for a month, and you still didn’t have to let her jump on the bed.”

“She went to bed on time if that makes it any better.”

“Only a little bit.” You teased as you reached down to lay your chair back for a little nap. “Wake me up when you get us lost.”

“Yea, right.” He chuckled as he rubbed your bump once more and pulled his hand back to drive. “Like I’d ever admit to that.”

——

“Where are we gunna put all this stuff?”

“Jason.” You laughed as you stopped walking in Once Upon a Child, which was having an amazing, spring sale to look over at him. “What do you think we’re doing, buying the entire store?”

“I mean, I feel like my sister filled her entire apartment with crap.”

“Well we don’t have an entire apartment.” You reminded him as you grabbed a cart. “And if I didn’t need it for Avery, we don’t need it for Alani.”

“OK, so what do we need?”

“Baby, we just walked in the door.” You giggled as you carefully picked up Avery and put her in the seat. “Can I look around for a minute?”

“I guess.” He sighed, playfully as he stepped up and took the cart from you. “We’re gunna be here a long time, aren’t we?”

“Daddy, I’m a shoppin’ girl!” Avery sassed as you stopped to look at the price tag on a new 3 in 1 crib. You smirked and shook your head as Jason leaned down and rested his elbows on the cart handle.

“Well Miss Shoppin’ Girl. You are gunna get to shop your little heart out today.”

“OK, this crib will last us at least three years.” You said as you pointed at a cherry brown crib that would cost you less than fifty bucks. You quickly stepped over to it and put your hand on the wood to ‘claim it’ until you realized that that woman was an employee.

“We’re going with this one?” She asked as she stopped on the other side of the crib.

“Yea, it’ll fit best in the space we have.” She nodded her head and pulled out a few sheets of sold stickers.

“You will be green today. Mark whatever you come across that you’re getting. Once the local churches get out, this place is gunna get a little crazy. I’d be quick though.”

“Oh we will. We live in an RV so we don’t need a lot of stuff.”

“You’re that Youtube girl, right?” She asked a little hesitantly as you put a sticker on the crib’s tag. “I recognize you but I didn’t wanna say anything.”

“I am.” You said with a small smile and a nod.

“Well it’s an honor to meet you. I’ll let you do your shopping. If you need any help, just yell for Kristen and I’ll find you. And if you have any issues, yell for Sandra.” You laughed and nodded your head as you reached back for the cart as the store door opened and a group of women with young kids came in.

“We better go.”

“Go, go!” Kristen said as she turned to go back to work.

“Well that was nice.” You said as you quickly moved on to the baby swings and bouncers. “Can you take her over to the clothes and some warmer weather clothes since they’re on sale now anyways?”

“What size?”

“She’s really growing out of the child’s extra small we got for winter so try the smalls. We’ll try them on before we leave today. She needs new shoes, too. The ones she wore to Disney are garbage.”

“Alright Avery, let’s go shopping. You can teach me all about fashion.” You smiled at them and stuck a sold sticker on a 2 in 1 swing and portable rocker like the one Avery had and loved. You skipped the strollers since Avery’s still worked just fine, grabbed the same convertible carseat you still had, and snagged a brand new diaper genie right out from under another woman’s nose when she was looking up at a different one.

“Seven months.” You said as you pointed at your bump when she glared at you.

“Fine, you win.” You shot her a smile and quickly headed over to Jason and the cart.

“You keep your eyes on this diaper genie.” You told him as you set it in the cart and threw some clothes over it. “It’s the only one still in the box.”

“OK, the look on your face is concerning me.”

“You will be even more concerned if you lose me my diaper genie.” You teased as you went back over look at the baby monitors, which was something you had given away to another family when Avery got old enough to not need one. You had thankfully kept a lot of Avery’s baby clothes, sheets, blankets, and towels but you would need new bibs and plain onesies, which you would most likely buy from Target or Walmart in bulk packages. And thankfully, you had convinced Chibs that keeping bottles, and your breast pump was a smart idea because now you didn’t need to buy them for Alani. Which meant, after grabbing a small, shaded On The Go baby dome with a small fan attached for when you were outside, a portable jumper that was already on sale, and a flower shaped baby bath for the sink that worked well for the first time around, you were done.

“Alright, I’m good. How’s it going over here?”

“Well, we have dresses, leggings, shorts, skirts, shirts, and a couple bathing suits. Did you know these are like a dollar a piece with this sale?”

“It’s great, right?” You laughed as you turned to look at the infant clothes as Avery threw another shirt in the cart over her shoulder like a prima donna. “See if you can find a big sister shirt somewhere in there so we can do a photo of the girls for Instagram.”

“We have two already.”

“Ooo, look at the Moana costume! Oh, we’re getting this.”

“OK, wait. Didn’t you just say that you had enough baby clothes this morning?” You paused with the costume in your hand over the cart and cocked your eyebrow at him.

“You really want me to pass up on one dollar baby clothes? I think it’d be smart to stock up on baby clothes at that price, don’t you?”

“(Y/N), we live in an RV and we have no…”

“Oh, look how cute!” You said as you grabbed another onesie and tossed it over your shoulder into the cart like your daughter had.

“Damn it.” He growled as he rolled his head back. “I’ll go get another cart.”

“Oh, can you ask Kristen to grab the crib and the rocker swing with the green tags, too so they don’t get snatched up.”

“Yes, dear.”

“Daddy’s in trouble.” You giggled as you maneuvered the cart closer to your side. “Wanna help Mommy pick out clothes for Alani?” She nodded her head as you pushed some of the onesies out of the way so she could see, too. “Alright, let’s spend some money.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You’re coming to join your family today, aren’t you little girl?” You asked softly as you sat on the couch to find any relief to your Braxton Hicks contractions, running your finger tips across your beach ball sized, 37 and a half week along bump. “Yea, I know you are. Your Daddy may think I’m crazy but I know. A mother always knows; that’s just how our 4th of July’s are gunna go from now on. Last year, your sister got all bit up but we met your Daddy. And this year, we have Daddy adopting Avery and you are gunna be born today. But can you do me a favor, Alani? Can you please wait until this afternoon to join us? Today is a very special day for your sister. And while I know she has been telling you to hurry up to come play, she needs to have a special day, too. Because she is such an amazing little girl that didn’t get so lucky with her first dad. And now, she gets the best dad a girl could ever ask for. Both of my girls are so, so lucky…”

“Mommy?” You looked up at Avery with an apologetic smile and pouted out your bottom lip.

“Sorry baby. Did I wake you up?” She shook her head and trudged over to the couch with her blanket in her hand.

“I’m too ‘cited. Is ‘ani dancing?”

“No, she’s not dancing right now.” You said as you scooted over as far as you could toward the foot end of the chaste lounge and moved your pillow behind your back so she could lay down beside you on the whole couch beside you. “I couldn’t sleep either.”

“Can I talk to my sister?”

“Softly so you don’t wake Daddy.” You said with a nod as you pulled the ottoman toward you with your feet. She propped herself up on the couch pillows beside you, and moved her blanket up against your side to ‘share’ it with Alani.

“Hi sissy.” She whispered as she gently walked her fingertips across your night shirt the way she had seen you and Jason do it when you talked to her younger sister. “It’s me, Avery. I just want to say that I love you a whole lot and you can come out of the belly now because Mommy said I can hold you if I sit on the couch. OK, I let you sleep now ‘ani.” Just like she always did, she gently pulled your shirt tight across your stomach and kissed her sister.

“You’re gunna be a great big sister, baby girl.” You breathed with a smile as you tried to keep the pain of your contraction off your face. “Are you ready?”

“What if I’m bad at it?”

“You cannot be bad at it.” You said with a slight strain as you rubbed your lower back. “Because you are a sweet, caring, kind little girl who always puts other people first. And you are funny and helpful. And you are super smart. And I think that you will be the worlds best sister…”

“What are you two doing up?” Jason grumbled. You looked over your shoulder at him as Tink came trotting over and jumped up on the couch by Avery’s feet.

“Girl talk. What are you doing up?”

“Your dog heard you talking and licked me until I came to see if you were OK.”

“Oh, I’m just great.” You said sarcastically with a huffed laughed. “I have a pumpkin on my spine and contractions every half an hour now… wait, rub my feet.” You pouted out your bottom lip as Jason sat down on the only seat available at your and Avery’s feet.

“You’re lucky I love you.” He grumbled as he scooted closer to you. “Look out, Tink.”

“Daddy, do mine?”

“Is this really why I woke up an hour before my alarm?” He teased as he leaned over Tink to pick up one of Avery’s feet in one hand and yours in the other. “To give adoption day foot rubs?”

“Yes.” You said with a sigh of relief. “And Alani birthday foot rubs…”

“She’s not coming today.” He sighed as he pushed his thumb into the arch of your foot.

“Yes she is.” You moaned as you closed your eyes with a small smile. “She’ll be here tonight.”

——

“I hate you.” Jason said as he sat down beside your knees on the hospital bed and looked at the seven pound even, twenty inch long little girl in your arms.

“I told you.” You said in a soft, sing song voice as you looked down at Alani Jade. Her (Y/E/C) eyes looked around for a moment before she yawned widely. “God, you are so beautiful little girl. So, so beautiful.”

“You did good, mama.” You smiled and glanced up at him with a small nod.

“Wanna hold her?” He nodded his head and stood up to take his little girl from you. “Two new Momoa’s today…”

“Wanna make it three?” He huffed with a smile.

“Don’t do it, Jason.” You laughed as you laid back against the pillows. “You are not gunna propose…”

“Why not?” He asked seriously as he sat down in the rocking chair. “We both know we’re headed that direction…”

“Jason, why can I not get a romantic proposal?”

“I think we should say exactly one year from today. 4th of July is gunna be the Momoa family day.”

“Swear to God.” You sighed.

“Marry me, (Y/N).”

“No.”

“Marry me.”

“No.” You laughed as you looked over at him with a wide smile. He looked up from Alani with a matching smile and nodded his head.

“Marry me.” You searched his eyes and sighed before nodding your head.

“Fine.”

“Knew it.” He joked as he looked back down at his youngest. “It’s just because I’m a total babe and I like to get rough with your mommy in bed.”

“Jason!” You laughed as you covered your cheeks with your hands. “Don’t tell her that!”

“She’s like two hours old, she’s got no idea what I’m saying.”

“Yea, and our luck, she’s gunna have one of those memories like Sheldon Cooper has and she’ll be scared for life with this conversation.”

“Oh, and Mommy likes anal, too.”

“Oh my God, I will kill you!”

——

Chaos was something you were used to when it came to being a parent. Jason, on the other hand, apparently had no idea what he had signed up for… and you were almost waiting for him to quit; to make the same choice that Chibs made when he couldn’t handle Avery’s terrible two’s. He was juggling the last few weeks of his job at Sugar Mountain, where he had been working in the urgent care clinic near the bottom of the resort since you had gotten to Boone in January, dealing with a colicky newborn, and an older daughter that was an absolute monster from lack of sleep because her sister preferred to be awake more than she was asleep. You did your best to spread yourself as thin as paper when you finally were given the OK to get back on the road to make sure everyone was happy, but having to deal with worrying that Jason was going to leave you, made you just want to scream.

“Babe, can you please do something?” Jason asked through his teeth as he drove toward Colorado, where he was meeting with his friends, you were meeting with Carol, Mike, Stacey and Todd, and where his parents were flying in to meet their two granddaughters, not two seconds after two month old Alani started crying.

“Jason, I’m trying.” You sighed as you unbuckled your seatbelt and turned around in your chair to comfort your child.

“Mommy, it’s too loud!” Avery yelled as she tried to push her headphones to her ears a little more so she could hear her movie.

“I know, baby. I’m trying…”

“(Y/N), you gotta sit down, there’s a cop…”

“Fine, just fucking pull over!” You snapped as you gave Alani a pacifier and turned back around. “Now. Right now. Pull over into this rest area.”

“What is your problem?” He asked as he did as you requested and pulled off the road. Your daughter screamed behind you and Avery continued to whine about the noise as you reached behind you to the three drawer cart that you used instead of a diaper bag and grabbed one of the many burb cloths from the bottom drawer.

“Nothing.”

“That’s a lie.” He said as he pulled into a spot.

“Well it’s a good fucking thing I just don’t care right now.” You said as you unbuckled your seatbelt and got out of the truck. “Come here, Alani. Let’s go get you to stop crying because apparently, no one understands that you just can’t help yourself.”

“Babe…” Jason groaned as you laid your daughter on your shoulder, and slammed the back door. With a heavy sigh, you turned and headed toward the grass covered picnic area.

“I know…” You cooed as you pat her back and bounced gently, knowing that that there was literally nothing you could do to help her since she had just eaten and gotten changed at the last rest area not thirty minutes prior. “I know, baby girl it’s just so hard, isn’t it, hmm? Yea, say it’s just so hard being so little, Mommy. It’s just so hard because I can’t handle any of it at all…”

“Is she colicky?” A woman asked as she walked past with her dog on her way back to her car. You nodded your head and glanced up at her as you continued to pat Alani’s back.

“Started almost right away but her doctor ran every test he could and said he couldn’t see anything wrong with her. Told us we just had to wait it out…”

“Yea, that happened with my son.” She said as she took a couple steps toward you. “Have you tried gripe water? It’s some strange homeopathic over the counter thing and I know it sounds ridiculous, but it helped so much with my son. Little Remedies is the brand we used but there are a few different kinds. You can find it in like Walmart and Walgreens or whatever. I’m sure most pharmacies have it.”

“Thank you.” You breathed with a sigh. “I will definitely look for that when we get to our next stop. Pretty sure my fiancé and my other daughter are about ready to stage a coup and kick the baby out of the truck.”

“Good luck, sweetie. And keep your head up, there is an end in sight, I promise.” You thanked her with a small smile and kept bouncing your daughter as Tinkerbell jogged over to check on ‘her’ baby. With a small smile, you sat down on the bench so that she could put her paws up on the seat beside you to smell her little human and offer some soft ‘feel better’ kisses.

“Babe…” Jason said as he caught up with the end of the retractable leash in one hand and Avery’s hand in the other.

“I told you this would be hard.” You said over Alani’s cries as you looked up at him. “I told you and told you. She has colic, Jason. There is absolutely nothing I can do to make her stop crying when she starts because there is nothing wrong with her. Avery had the same exact issue when she was a baby. But you yelling at me, or getting mad at her is uncalled for even if you are driving. 

She’s is a baby. A small, innocent, defenseless child. And she will cry for hours and you can’t get mad at her. Because you are her father and we live in a damn box and this is the life we chose to bring a baby into. The only people who can be mad in this situation are Alani, who can’t even tell us why she is screaming, and Avery, who is four and she’s allowed to be mad at her sister when she wakes her up. That’s it. I am dealing with less sleep than you are here, because I have to feed her in between the screaming and you don’t see me yelling about it. So do me a favor and bite your tongue the next time you want to tell me to ‘do something’ about your child screaming for no reason, OK? Because you’re not doing yourself any favors here.”

“OK.” He said with a nod, knowing that you were absolutely right and there was nothing he could say against it. “Do you want me to try?”

“No.” You sighed as you stood back up and went back to bouncing. “Can you find someone and ask if there’s a Walmart nearby? We can park there for the night and pick up something called gripe water. That lady said it helped her son with colic.”

“Yea, we can do that.” He said as he looked down at Avery. “Wanna help Daddy find the security hero?” She nodded her head and raised her arms up to be carried and you held your hand out for the handle of the leash. “You sure?”

“Yea, she’ll stay put to protect Alani.” With a bob of his head, he passed you the leash and picked up Avery to find a security guard. You shook your head and looked down at your dog with a sigh. “Daddy’s gunna kill me one of these days.”

——

“Aunt Carol!”

“Munchkin!!” Carol growled, playfully as she crouched down in her foyer and caught your daughter in a hug. “Oh, I missed you!”

“What’s you get me?” She asked as she leaned back and looked at Stacy’s daughter.

“Avery Lynn!” You scolded as you carried Alani’s carseat into the house behind her. “You know it’s not nice to demand gifts.”

“They’re in the living room with Mamaw.” Carol whispered loudly behind her hand as if she were sharing something top secret. “Wanna go see?” Avery nodded excitedly and took off running as your ‘sister’ stood up strait to say hi to you.

“You are trouble.” You laughed as you kissed her cheek.

“I get it from my mom. Now let me see this little angel we’ve welcomed to the family. Hi Jason!” 

“Hey Carol.”

“Oh look at you!” She cooed as you set the car seat on the front table. “Shit, she is so adorable.”

“Yea, when she’s not screaming.” You sighed as she picked up Alani as carefully as she could.

“Oh, I bet she’s still adorable even then.”

“Mommy, come look!” Avery said as she came running out with an Ariel doll in her ‘Ralph Breaks the Internet’ outfit.

“Inside voices.” Jason said softly as he stepped past you to say hi to Mike and Todd. “And it’s almost nap time, don’t forget.”

“What? I can’t hear!” She called out as she went running back to the living room to play.

“Well isn’t she sassy.” Carol giggled as she lead you back into her house in Colorado.

“We’re all a little out of sorts right now.” You sighed as you headed over to the couch to sit down for a while. “I don’t think I sleep longer than an hour at a time anymore and that’s if I’m lucky.”

“It’s been rough.” Jason agreed as he sat down beside you. “Really, really rough.”

“Well you guys are welcome to stay here as long as you need to.” Carol said with a smile as she sat down in her chair with her eyes glued to the baby in her arms. You hummed your thanks and let your head fall back on the couch with a sigh, missing the look Stacy gave you and your fiancé.

“What’s wrong with you two?” She asked after a moment since you used to fall over into Jason’s side to nap.

“Nothing.” Jason said with a shake of his head as you simply closed your eyes. Stacy sat up a little straighter and glanced back at her family as Avery picked up one of her new dolls.

“Mommy and Daddy are fighting ‘gain.”

“Damn it, child.” You groaned as you opened your eyes and stood up. “Come on, let’s go take a nap.”

“Wait, what’s going on?”

“Come on Avery.” You said over Todd’s question as you picked up your oldest. “We can play with all your toys later.”

“We have dinner with my mom at 6.” Jason reminded you on your way out of the room. You nodded your head and just kept walking down to the guest bedroom at the far end of the house. Stacy instantly jumped to her feet and followed after you while Jason mumbled something about setting up the RV on the side of the house.

“Mommy, I don’t wanna nap.” Avery whined as you set her on the bed and started taking off her shoes.

“I know you don’t baby, but I know that Alani kept you up late last night and we get to meet Daddy’s mom for dinner so we all gotta be nice and rested for that, right?”

“What am I missing?” Stacy asked as she stood in the doorway where you couldn’t escape.

“We’re all just tired.” You sighed as you pulled back the blankets and moved some pillows out of the way. “That’s all it is. Just tired and t-r-a-p-p-e-d together.”

“Sweetheart, why didn’t you call us?” You shook your head and kissed your daughter’s forehead before standing up straight to leave the room so she could nap.

“Because I can handle my family.” You said as you pulled the door partially closed behind you.

“(Y/N), what are you doing?” She asked as she grabbed your arm and kept you in the hall. “What are you doing? Are you trying to prove that you’re superwoman? Are you trying to push Jason away and force him to leave? What are you doing? You know as well as I do that I would bend over backwards to help you with those girls, just like I did with Avery when she was born.”

“I can handle it…” You started as you took a step back down the hall, but Stacy grabbed your arm again.

“But you don’t have to.” She said with a shake of her head as she searched your eyes. “Sweetheart, I’m right here. I’m on the road just like you. And I would be more than happy to take the girls for even just one night to let you get some sleep. I know exactly what you are going through because I have been there before. And in twenty years, if you are still on the road, you will be doing this same thing to another young mother. Whether you want to admit it or not, you need help. We all did.” You looked up at her and almost instantly burst into tears you had been holding in for two months.

“She won’t… stop… crying!”

“Oh, I know.” Stacy soothed as she pulled you into her arms so you could cry it out. “Colic is not easy.”

“No.” You sobbed as your fiancé came down the hall, hesitantly.

“Just hold her.” Stacy said softly as she turned you around and pushed you toward Jason. Your tears came out even harder, and you tried to apologize to him for everything and nothing at all, but he simply shook his head and hugged you tight. 

“I know.” He whispered as he kissed the top of your head. “I know, babe. I’m sorry, too.” You nodded your head and squeezed him tight as your road mom headed back out into the living room to see her newest granddaughter.

“They’ll be OK.” She said with a nod as she stopped to take Alani from her daughter. “New parents, working out the kinks. Hi little angel, come to Mamaw.”

“So we’re gunna be up all night then?” Todd asked as he popped up the leg rest of the lazy boy he was on.

“And we’ll do it with a damn smile.” She growled as she sat down on the couch before looking down at sleeping Alani again. “Yes, we will stay up with you all night, little angel child if that’s what we need to do so that Mommy and Daddy can get some sleep and get all better. Yes we will.”

“Well you guys have fun with that.” Mike laughed as he grabbed the remote and turned on the TV. “Game’s on.”

“Of course it is.” Carol laughed as she got up to put Avery’s new toys off to the side so they wouldn’t get accidentally stepped on while she took a nap. “Just when the hard work is about to start.”

“Ha!” He barked over the sound of the guest room door closing behind you and Jason for your much needed nap with your oldest. “I raised two kids already. I pay my dues to children society.”

“And now you get to pay them again with my adopted sister.” Carol said as she whacked his foot. “Come help me clean out the truck for them.”

“Bring me in their diaper bag.” Stacy said as she made herself comfortable on the couch. “And I bet she has a cooler of breast milk that needs to go in the fridge… Todd, go help them. And give me the remote before you go out.” Todd sighed, knowing that there was no chance in hell he could fight her demands, as he put his foot rest down to get up.

“Yes, dear.” She blew him a kiss as he turned on HGTV and turned the volume down a bit before passing her the remote.


End file.
